For the record, I don’t take it personally when my shirt is buttoned crooked, my shoe is untied, or my fly is open. Apparently, that makes me odd. More than once, I’ve had someone tell me, “I don’t want to hurt your feelings, but your fly is open.”
After I zip up, the person sheepishly apologized. “I’m sorry,” they muttered while not making eye contact.
“Sorry for what?” I asked.
They shrugged and responded, “For embarrassing you.”
There are things much more embarrassing than being told my pants are unzipped. One of those things is running around all day in public with my zipper down.
“I just hate being critical,” they add. “It’s happened to me before!”
I’m sure that’s true. Which is why I’m not embarrassed. The unzipped fly is a common occurrence that doesn’t go on my permanent record. This alleged humiliation will be forgotten an hour from now.
Why do we think it’s necessary to reassure someone of their worth after telling them about a wardrobe malfunction? “You have so many good qualities. You’re an excellent father. You’re a patriot! You’ve got a fantastic beard!”
Pointing out mistakes causes real anxiety in some people. Whenever anyone tells me my zipper is down, I wonder if that person is the first to notice. How many other people took note of my situation and couldn’t bring themselves to mention it. I wonder how many people convinced themselves that allowing me to wander around partially exposed was actually doing me a favor.
“I try not to focus on negative things,” they tell themselves. But ignoring the negative things doesn’t make them go away. They saved themselves an awkward moment by condemning me to an awkward day.
I suspect that people who don’t have the courage to tell me my zipper is down won’t be able to tell me when I’ve got more serious problems. They’ll stay quiet when something even more embarrassing needs to be mentioned. I don’t have much use for friends who won’t speak up when my zipper is down.
Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body.
Ephesians 4:25
