There are a lot of commands that I break immediately after they’re issued. This is one of them: “Never underestimate the power of an empath.”

The moment I finished reading the command, I not only started underestimating the power of empaths, but also doubted their very existence. It’s difficult to find a standard definition for “empath.” The term could mean anything from “a person who understands how others feel” (which is possible to do) to “someone with the keen ability to feel the thoughts, emotions, and energy of others,” (which is malarkey).

I feel it’s important to say that empathy is a real thing and it’s good. You are being empathetic when you “put yourself in someone else’s shoes.” It’s never a bad idea to consider another person’s point of view. The ability to relate with someone else’s perspective is a gift from God.

HOWEVER…empathy is NOT a psychic power. You think labeling yourself an ‘Empath’ makes you a superhero. I hate to break this to you (actually, I don’t hate it at all and if you were really an empath you would have known that) but you can’t know my feelings unless I tell you my feelings.

There are hundreds of ways I signal my feelings. Facial expressions, posture, and voice inflections are all clues to my emotional state of being. And often, you can just listen to my words. When I say, “The dog that I’ve had since I was a kid died today,” you don’t need special powers to understand that I’m sad. And the brutal truth is (brace yourself) your empathy doesn’t help me anyway.

You think your empathy lets you know me better than I know myself. But what I know about myself is that my feelings are chaotic, undisciplined beasts that should not be trusted. God told me I can’t trust my heart, which made me feel hurt and angry. I’m a lot like you in that I want my feelings to rule over my life. When I learned that my feelings don’t reflect reality, I had some feelings about it.

I’m also having feelings about your attempt to use your empathetic powers to manipulate me. I don’t like being told lies and it’s not true that you, “Know my game before I play it.” Since there’s no such thing as an ’empath,’ I’ll just tell you that I’m feeling annoyed and disgusted. I feel that you’re an egotistical jerk.

So, empathy is not a super-power. It’s an ordinary ability given to you by God. When you exercise empathy, you gain perspective. That means, putting yourself in my shoes benefits YOU more than it benefits me. An immediately beneficial life change you can make from your new perspective is to quit calling yourself an empath.

“The Lord saw how great man’s wickedness on the earth had become, and that every inclination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil all the time.”

(Genesis 6:5)