Recently, this was posted on my Facebook page:

You are an a hole!

On the surface, it’s poorly constructed.

You don’t need both ‘an’ and ‘a’ before ‘hole’.

‘A’ is proper.

You are a hole!

Fair enough.

But what kind of hole?

…A doughnut hole?

I hope so!

They’re delicious!

…wait a second…

I know what kind of hole you mean!

Asshole.

Right?

Why didn’t you just say that?

Don’t want people to think you’re uncouth?

Too refined to type naughty words in your insults?

That seems inconsistent to me.

But what do I know…

…I’m an a hole.

But as a hole I know how holes think.

So I’m going to help you out.

We holes have very big hearts.

You are guilty of the ad hominem fallacy.

You’re argument is so wrong that philosophers gave it a name!

Don’t feel bad.

You are in the vast majority of my philosophical detractors.

(Detractors is a big word that means people who disagree…)

Ad hominem allows people like you to participate in a conversation without needing to think and stuff.

For example…

I say…

Homosexuality is lust, not love.

Your ad hominem arguments might be…

• You don’t even know any gay people.
• You’re secretly gay yourself.
• You Christians killed a bunch of people during the Crusades.
• Heterosexuals get divorced all the time.
• I hope you never have a gay child.
• I hope all your children are gay.
• You are an a hole.

None of these statement address the original claim.

We holes notice stuff like that.

Plus, calling people names is what “a holes” do.

Rule of thumb:

Your response to a statement should not start with “You are a…”

That leaves you open to a response in kind.

When you tell me I’m “an a hole”…

…I can say the same thing to you.

The difference is that I would be right.