We can’t agree about everything.
But it’s safe to say we agree about this:
The worst thing that happens to us every week…
…is ‘Greet Your Neighbor Time’ in church.
Turn to your neighbor!
Shake hands!
Say, “I’m glad you’re here today!”
Come on, say it like you mean it!
“I’m glad you’re here today!”
Shout at them!
Hug them!
Squeeze them tight!
Don’t let go.
Jump up and down a little bit!
Mash your faces together!
Tell them you like the way they smell.
Come on, say it like you mean it!
Look them in the eye.
Keep looking…
…staring…
…penetrate to their very soul…
First person to blink…
…doesn’t love Jesus!
Last person to blink…
…tell the other person ‘Jesus loves you anyway!’
…like you mean it!
Fist bump each other.
Hip bump each other.
Now high five!
Again…louder this time!
Okay.
Now, turn to the neighbor on your other side…
Shake hands…
6 Responses
This is so true, happens every weekend without a doubt
ROTFL
Our pastor tried that once. ONCE. The next week, no one sat close enough to anyone else to be in what one could even remotely consider “neighborly range.”
Seriously, I had to send a text message to get someome to hand me a hymnal. (Even then they slid it across the floor with their foot and I had to go fetch it) We’re a small congregation, so it’s easy for us to spread out. It was sort of sad. It Lasted for about 2 1/2 Sundays, until he promised never to do it again.
Texting someone to pass a hymnal is fantastic!
OMWord! You are so right…every introvert’s worst nightmare. Every week I’m back in socially awkward midde school.
At least in Middle School you could drift to the back of the room and everyone would leave you alone…