I was told a long time ago that I should avoid saying, ‘you’ when I speak. I was told it is better to say, ‘I’ or ‘we’ instead because saying, ‘you’ is confrontational and accusatory. Our culture internalized this idea over the years and it has become the sacred commandment, “Don’t judge.” While it’s generally helpful advice for doing comedy, there are negative consequences to including myself in criticisms of you.

Consider the phrase, “We have to do something to end gun violence.” It implies two things that are not true, 1) that both of us are responsible for gun violence and 2) we have the ability to universally end it.

Instead of saying that “we” have a gun violence problem, it is better to be specific and say, “You shouldn’t shoot innocent people.” I don’t open fire on people at bars, churches, schools, or any other public place. I’m already doing everything in my power to end gun violence.

Instead of saying “we” are a racist country, it is better to say, “You should stop discriminating on the basis of skin color.” I’m not a racist. It is dishonest to include myself in the group of people who struggle with the sin of racism.

The practice of saying ‘we’ instead of ‘you’ has created a generation of emotional weaklings. These are grown-up people who can’t stand being singled out for their sins. They only tolerate criticism that is vague and unspecified. They want to be able to tell themselves, “He’s not talking about me.”

Are you feeling attacked? Of course not! I’m talking about ‘they’ and not ‘you.’ It’s fine when I rail about ‘those people’ because you don’t consider yourself to be one of them. And THAT is the problem with using “we” instead of “you.”

You believe that your sin is justified when you’re not the only one doing it. There is no urgency to deal with your wickedness when ‘we’ are all in the same condition. You are lazy in your pursuit of holiness.

I will say that I’m also lazy. If that makes you feel better, you’ve missed the point.

(Deuteronomy 20:17) “Completely destroy them—the Hittites, Amorites, Canaanites, Perizzites, Hivites and Jebusites—as the Lord your God has commanded you. Otherwise, they will teach you to follow all the detestable things they do in worshiping their gods, and you will sin against the Lord your God”