Jen: “Quick, heartfelt note to my child trafficking darlings, especially the dear young baby slavers beloved by Jesus. You are my heart. If I tried to describe all I have learned from you in the past few years, I couldn’t do it. You ARE the church. Lead on, precious ones! You are immensely loved by Jesus and capable of great holiness!”
Peach: “Wait! What?”
Jen: “I’m encouraging my marginalized brothers and sisters who sell children on the black market.”
Peach: “WHY??!!!”
Jen: “Because the church treats these people horribly!”
Peach: “Huh?!!”
Jen: “Church people condemn, judge, and belittle them all the time.”
Peach: “Because selling children is a sin…”
Jen: “Jesus never spoke against human trafficking.”
Peach: “No…but…”
Jen: “Jesus just loved them.”
Peach: “I think you’re…”
Jen: “He loved that woman who committed adultery.”
B: “Yes…”
Jen: “He loved that woman who was a prostitute.”
Peach: “…and…”
Jen: “And he loves people who sell children on the black market.”
Peach: “…”
Jen: “He loves homosexual people and bi-sexual people and transgender people.”
Peach: “Indeed.”
Jen: “Jesus loves everyone, no matter who they love!”
Peach: “Even people who have sex with animals.”
Jen: “ARE YOU COMPARING HOMOSEXUALITY TO BESTIALITY!!!!!!???!! You bigoted bucket of vomit! Get away from me with your hate!!!!”
Peach: “I’m agreeing with you! Jesus loves everyone, no matter how they’ve sinned.”
Jen: “You’re disgusting. I’ll pray God softens your heart like mine.”
Peach: “Thank you.”
Jen: *unfriend* *block*
Jen: “Hey, everyone! I had to block an ugly, hateful, god-forsaken person for applying my earlier post too broadly. I sincerely apologize for any emotional trauma you suffered from the encounter with your pious hypocrisy. I will be more vigilant in the future to make sure contrary points of view do not disturb the tranquility of our sanctimonious echo chamber. Love wins!”
(For those interested in hearing the details of the “Hatmaker Incident,” here’s an episode of the podcast where we discuss it:)