I heard a piece of advice for radically improving my marriage: “Let the girl win.”

Apparently, the conflicts in my relationship are caused by my need to be right. If I just quit trying to win disagreements, there would be peace in the household. This is such a simple thing to do with the potential to yield huge, positive results. I started letting the girl win all the time.

She decides what I am to make for dinner. Sometimes she wants food that triggers my allergies but I don’t mind jamming an EpiPen into my leg for the sake of my marriage.

She does all the decorating in the home. She is patiently teaching me which towels, dishes, and pieces of furniture I am not allowed to use.

We go where she wants to go on vacation. I used to argue when she made plans that racked up credit card debt. Letting her win has avoided a lot of fights about money.

She tells me what clothes to wear. When I dress myself, I tend to think only of my own comfort and ignore the anxiety she feels being seen with ‘a slob’ in public.

The girl picks our religion. She wins every theological debate. I was raised a Christian but for the sake of our relationship, I think I’m a Buddhist now.

We sent our two kids to live with relatives because they were interfering with the girl’s life plans. I miss them but a healthy marriage requires compromise.

Currently, the girl is having an affair with a guy she met at work. I would argue that adultery is wrong but she believes love is love. It is difficult to keep letting her win this one. I often need to leave the room when the two of them start making out on the couch.

When she got pregnant with her co-worker’s child, she decided to terminate the pregnancy. I must admit, to my shame, I was tempted to yell at her. She doesn’t think babies are alive until they’re born and even though my conscience bothers me, I let her win.

Recently, the girl has told me that she isn’t attracted to me anymore. She says I am spineless and weak. She told me that my lack of convictions is unmanly. I let her win that argument too.

This healthy marriage looks much different than the old, broken marriage. I really miss that messed up relationship…

(Proverbs 21:9) “Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.”