There’s a scene from the movie, Spaceballs, that does an excellent job depicting the government’s typical response to crisis. In case you haven’t seen the movie, here’s the clip:

My local government is taking the Coronavirus very seriously. They escalated the alert status to “Orange” and then “Red”. Now, they’ve gone to “Ludicrous”.

The Board of Commissioners, responding to complaints from shop owners, issued an ordinance to disallow the sale of specific items they deem non-essential in stores that also sell essential items. In other words, you can’t buy video games at Wal-Mart until the quarantine is over.

You can’t buy jewelry, furniture, books, paint, carpeting, or craft supplies either. And you can’t buy love (but that’s always been the case).

When I was in school, they used to talk about a historical event called, “The Boston Tea Party” (BTP). The BTP happened when the board of commissioners in England issued an ordinance that disallowed colonists to buy video games at Wal-Mart. The colonists were outraged so they protested by dressing up like undocumented citizens and throwing a shipment of English tea into the harbor.

I may have some of the details wrong but the essence of the story is similar. The colonists were pushed too far. They had enough of the government fiddling with their daily lives.

In my opinion, locking down every man, woman, child, and gender fluid humanoid for an undisclosed amount of time, is outrageously unnecessary. We went to light speed before we knew what we were chasing.

But that’s just my opinion. I’m no expert. So I went along with the procedure. I washed my hands. I stayed home from church. I canceled my comedy shows (or somebody else canceled them for me.) Sure, I griped about it. I’m a comedian. Griping is my form of art.

But I gotta say, I told you so.

I predicted that the power to quarantine would go to the heads of our mortal leaders. These men and women are trying to bring about the common good but they’re not experts either. We all have ignorance in common. Nobody fully understands the effects of mucking around with the free market.

Issuing ordinances to make things “fair” during a quarantine issued to make things “safe” is historically called, “The Beginning of Tyranny.” If you believe the government is better at looking out for your best interest than you are, then your life is already over.

Seriously.

All you’re doing now is following orders until they bury you (if burial is still allowed when you die.) The government is happy to control you if that’s what you want.

• They’ll tell you when you can buy video games.
• They’ll tell you when you can go back to church.
• They’ll tell you if it’s okay to hug your family.
• They’ll tell you who’s “good” and who’s “bad”.

For the record, I’m one of the “bad guys.” I’m openly critical of the power of bureaucracies to make wise decisions for individuals. I’m suspicious of the idea that ordinances make my life better. And I’m keenly aware that every single time the government makes a law (Every. Single. Time.) – a little bit of liberty disappears forever.

(And, with all due respect, my county commissioner doesn’t have the vaguest idea what qualifies as “essential” to me.)

So I gotta ask you, is there any freedom you’re not willing to throw into the laps of your loving politicians? Is there any ordinance that goes too far? Because your elected officials only have the power that you give them. And viruses are immune to laws.

So here we sit at “Ludicrous” waiting for further instructions from our Dear Leaders. At some point, we’re probably going to have to dump some tea in the harbor. In the meantime, “Smoke if you got ’em.”