Some Christians think it’s their job to boost the self-esteem of pagans. I think they are operating under the assumption that people reject Jesus because they feel unworthy of love and salvation. But I can’t judge anyone’s heart and the motive doesn’t matter anyway. If you’re a Christian who feels it is your duty to encourage people while they rebel against God, you should stop doing that immediately.
The word that you’re using to help people feel better as they dash toward eternal damnation is, “de-stigmatize.” The definition of “stigmatize” is to accuse or condemn something. It is to classify something as disgraceful. It’s a perfectly good word that you don’t like using because stigmatizing pagan behavior upsets pagans. Labeling any behavior as ‘disgraceful’ will get you labeled as ‘hateful.’ In other words, there is a stigma against stigmatization. You lovingly suggest that de-stigmatizing pagan behavior will help draw pagans toward the grace and forgiveness of Jesus Christ.
You’re wrong.
Stigmatization is the main method of evangelism in the Bible. Stigmatizing sinner’s awful behavior is how preachers and prophets got people to pay attention. The Apostle Peter kicked off the entire Christian religion by stigmatizing the crucifixion of Jesus.
“Therefore let all Israel be assured of this: God has made this Jesus, whom you crucified, both Lord and Christ.”
When the people heard this, they were cut to the heart and said to Peter and the other apostles, “Brothers, what shall we do?”
Acts 2:37
Because God is wise and gives order to everything in The Universe, you weren’t alive to jump in front of Peter and de-stigmatize the murder of God’s Son. “Hold on, Peter,” you would say, “These people don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care. None of us are perfect and that includes you! (Remember that denial incident?) You’re making these good people feel shame! You should be ashamed of yourself!”
Now, before you type angry words into the comment section accusing me of over-exaggerating, take a gander at this:
De-stigmatizing single motherhood is a cause that many Christians support (especially those who are single mothers). Stigmatizing unwed mothers is hateful, unhelpful, and un-Christlike – so I’ve been told.
“Stigma is shame’s campaign manager, and relays to the world just how you should be viewed, treated, marginalized, etc.”
Quote from this article.
As you gallop to the defense of single mothers atop your steed of self-righteousness, swinging your sword of indignation to silence my misogyny, I want to ask you a question. Should we de-stigmatize unwed fathers too?
There is an ugly stigma surrounding men who abandon their children. Dudes who impregnate women and take no responsibility are harshly criticized by almost everyone. These men are made to feel shame. They are marginalized, scorned, and belittled. If you’re going to de-stigmatize unwed mothers, you can’t keep stigmatizing unwed fathers.
Of course, it would be absurd to tell men it’s okay to knock-up their girlfriends and then leave the mother and child to fend for themselves. The stigma toward unwed fathers exists because it is disgraceful to take no responsibility for the children you create. Depriving a child of a father’s influence is shameful. Everybody knows this. You don’t solve the problem of fatherless families by de-stigmatizing selfishness.
Likewise, you are speaking absurdity when you tell women that it is awesome to raise children by themselves. Most mothers would prefer to be in partnership with their children’s fathers. Single mothers, if they’re honest, will admit unwed motherhood is a bad thing. At this point, you’re going to wag your finger and shout, “John! You jerk! Some women are physically abused by their husbands and ending the marriage is necessary to protect themselves and their children!” I know. And (you should probably sit down before reading any further) that doesn’t change anything!
Exchanging one bad situation (i.e. physical abuse) for another bad situation (single motherhood) still leaves mother and kids in a bad situation. Single motherhood doesn’t magically become awesome just because it’s better than physical abuse. She can flee from her abusive husband to the safety of a hollow tree but she will then experience the stigma of living in a tree.
Personally, I’m in favor of stigmatizing sin. The stigma discourages others from repeating the behavior. When you attempt to de-stigmatize bad behavior, you’re trying to shield people from the consequences for their decisions. You’re telling men they don’t need to take care of their kids. You’re telling women they don’t need fathers for their kids. You’re telling everybody it’s okay to nail Jesus to a cross.
Stop telling people that they’re wrong for feeling shame. God might be talking to them and your efforts to de-stigmatize their situation is making it harder for them to hear Him.
