** SATIRE ** (It makes me sad that disclaimers like this are necessary) ** Satire **

That Mueller report crushed my soul.

I was promised collusion.

There was so much evidence of collusion it was gonna make me puke.

I was promised puke!

Anticipating Donald Trump’s impeachment was the only thing keeping me alive for these past 2 years.

The gleeful enthusiasm of lefty “journalists” was contagious.

“This is the beginning of the end for Donald Trump, ” they said.

Never a word about how Russian collusion would devastate America.

Our “trusted news media” doesn’t care about the destruction of our election process.

So neither do I.

The trusted news media just hates Donald Trump.

So I do too.

The trusted news media tells me Trumps is a racist who hates women and poor people.

They told me Trump sets immigration policies because he hates brown people.

And they told me Trump colluded with Russia to get elected.

That infuriates me!

As it turns out, Trump didn’t actually collude with Russia.

But I’m still furious!

I need to vent all this righteous indignation.

So let’s impeach him anyway.

I just hate him sooooo much!

He’s orange!

That is NOT a presidential color.

Impeach him!

He sometimes says mean things too.

It’s infuriating that the law protects people I don’t like!

Sometimes innocent people should be punished!

I’m ready to give in to my animal instincts and burn civilization to the ground!

Who’s with me?