The baby’s name is Marceline.

She’s the fifth grandchild to be added to my family.

She’s got a problem with one of her lungs and that’s why there’s a tube in her nose.

We’re expecting she’ll be good to go home in a couple of days.

I’m a bit of a freak around babies.

When my own kids were newborn, I hovered over them with the bulb syringe.

When the baby squirmed, I’d jam the syringe into her nostrils and squeeze the bulb repeatedly.

My wife would caution me, “Let her sleep. You’re going to suck her brain out!”

They don’t use bulb syringes anymore.

Cleaning baby’s nose is accomplished with this apparatus:

A straw running from Mom’s mouth to baby’s snot-locker.

Yes. I’m certain this is for Mom.

Notice the picture on the box?

Dad’s face is not visible.

That’s because Dad fainted when he saw Mom using the thing.

There is always some new thing to assist in caring for babies.

Babies themselves are still using an ancient design.

Some people insist the design is evolving but I don’t believe it.

I’d expect babies to be born with plastic tubes already attached.

Tubes that could be connected to oxygen to help their lungs.

Tubes that Mom (not Dad) could use to clear nasal cavities.

But we’re still getting babies with teensy-weensy little nostrils.

It takes perseverance and courage to pull a booger from those tiny openings.

Especially with the baby thrashing in protest.

Mom’s have that courage.

Mom’s have that perseverance.

A mother’s love fears no mucus.

And that’s why babies haven’t evolved plastic tubes.

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12 Responses

  1. I would like to come out as a nose frida user. They are super easy to use and clean – I have not yet sucked a booger further than intended.^_^.

    But yeah, congratulations on the new grandchild! We just welcomed a new son ourselves, yesterday. Writing this from the hospital. Also glad to hear the lung issue seems very manageable. Still scary stuff, I’m sure. But yeah, congratulations again!

    1. Congrats, Dylan!
      What number is this for you? (I just had #4 in January, my sister had her first on Friday, and we’re still waiting for our brother’s first baby, who’s due in June.)
      We love babies around here!

      1. Thanks! We have two year old twin boys already. This is number 3 for us. Babies are pretty great! So great how familiar he feels already. ^_^

  2. Congratulations! What a precious bundle she is! 🙂

    As to those booger things, nope. Not happening. Lucky my kids survived because my theory was always that they should just get bigger and learn how to blow their own noses.

    1. Ironically, nose blowing is among the first skills that Amanda teaches her children yet she heartily advocates for the Frida. You women are perplexing creatures.

    1. It does look like a Lego in that picture!

      It’s actually a sponge with extra filters already cut out. (So you pop one of those sponge tubes out and put it in the nasal sucker to keep the boogers from getting sucked up too far… If you know what I mean. 😉 )

        1. I’m telling you: a freak such as yourself should be a huge fan of the Frida! Those little bulb syringes don’t accomplish nearly enough… (Pff, pff, pff)
          The Nose Frida comes along and “Swwwwwwwwweeeeeeeerk!”
          Much more thorough.

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