Gavin Newsom recently revealed his low SAT score in an effort to appear relatable. Nothing says “I understand the average American” like academic mediocrity.
I truly hope this becomes a trend. It would make elections wildly entertaining.
Instead of boring arguments about policy, candidates would compete to be the dumbest. “I ate paste in Kindergarten and didn’t learn my ABC’s until 8th grade. My GPA was a 1.9. My opponent was valedictorian! He thinks he’s better than you!”
The other candidate would respond: “In my school, valedictorian was determined by weight! I can’t balance my checkbook and I often forget to shower. When I’m elected, I’ll represent the bottom rung of the intellectual ladder.”
Imagine campaign season if the strategy shifts to proving incompetence. Debates would be spectacular!
Moderator: What are your thoughts on immigration?
Candidate: Um. Could you use the word ‘immigration’ in a sentence?
Political ads would change overnight. Instead of attacking each other, candidates would highlight their own weaknesses.
Sitting at a kitchen table squinting at a cereal box: “I don’t understand fiber, or calories, or serving sizes. So I certainly don’t understand fiscal policy, and neither do you! We’re so alike! Vote for me!” Then he spills the milk into his lap.
Modern campaigns already emphasize feelings over substance. Let’s just be honest about it. Quit pretending we care about issues. The winner should be the candidate who makes below-average people feel better by comparison.
That’s a real challenge because voters are not competent detectors of incompetence. If you are going to run on stupidity, it has to be bold, theatrical, and obvious. You must be so clearly inept that even people who trust Candace Owens will say, “Wow, that’s crazy.” The winning candidate is the one who has our dimmest citizens believing they would do a better job.
We have been drifting toward a preference for the least qualified person in the room for years, rewarding confusion as authenticity and applauding foolishness as humility. Gavin Newsom may simply be the first prominent candidate to make it a platform.
(Proverbs 29:2) When the righteous increase, the people rejoice, but when the wicked rule, the people groan.
