When you share a Kit-Kat with a friend, you must break off one quarter of the bar to comply with the Minimum Chocolate amount.
When you say ‘Hello’ to another person you must also give that person a hug lasting for at least 3 seconds. This is the Minimum Greeting required by law.
When you send a card to another person you must also send a gift costing at least $10 according to governmental Minimum Gift standards.
Whenever you adopt a pet, the Minimum Animal Adoption amount is three animals. You are free to adopt more and you may mix and max species.
If you decide to hand out candy for Trick-Or-Treat you must give every person who knocks on your door a piece of fruit, a popcorn ball and a sticker booklet along with whatever other treats you’re providing. The Minimum Halloween Offering ensures that children will be adequately compensated for their efforts.
When show someone anything on your phone you must let the person keep your phone for no less than an hour. Glancing at a screen for a few seconds to read a meme or watch a video is not a sufficient amount of time to meet the requirements of the Minimum Screen Share.
Do you have a problem with any of these rules? I hope so! If you’re cool with my absurd minimum requirements then I pray you stop using your right to vote. (That’s not intended as a joke.)
The Minimum Wage laws are no less absurd than my Minimum Greeting law. Demanding that your employer pay you a minimum $15 an hour is also absurd. Do you know that many business owners don’t make $15 an hour? You didn’t know that because you think everybody who owns a business is a billionaire. You think you’re entitled to a billionaire’s money. But a billionaire doesn’t owe you $15 an hour any more than you owe a billionaire 25% of your Kit-Kat bar.
If you admit the Minimum Screen Share law is stupid, then stop asking for Minimum Wage laws. You’re begging for oppression. It is not ‘concern for poor people’ that advocates governmental thievery. You’re just full of envy.
“But he answered one of them, ‘Friend, I am not being unfair to you. Didn’t you agree to work for a denarius? Take your pay and go. I want to give the man who was hired last the same as I gave you. Don’t I have the right to do what I want with my own money? Or are you envious because I am generous?’
(Matthew 20:11)
