My kid’s kindergarten teacher is a crocodile. I mean, an actual crocodile. She’s 13-feet long, weights about 300 pounds, and her toothy jaws are powerful enough to snap bones in half. I think it’s wonderful that our school doesn’t discriminate and I’m celebrating that my child has the opportunity to learn from a teacher whose family is different from ours.

The teacher (who we call Mx. Croc) doesn’t speak any human languages so her teaching style is a bit unorthodox. She spends most of the day stretched out in the sunny spot on the floor. The children have learned that Mx. Croc is a reptile who doesn’t have the privileges of warm blooded mammals. My child is learning to be tolerate and respectful.

Some of the other parents have shown up at school board meetings to slander Mx. Croc. They fear things they do not understand. If they were willing to take the time to educate themselves, they would know that crocodiles usually eat fish. A little bit of research will reveal that dogs kill more people than crocodiles! The real tragedy of ignorance is the bigotry it causes.

I’m going to keep sending my child to school and prove to the world that I’m a good person. Getting the approval of moral anarchists is my number one priority. I refuse to judge all reptiles by the actions of a few fringe man-eaters.

Besides…what would you have me do, homeschool my kids???!!!

“Only be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them slip from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them.”

(Deuteronomy 4:9)