Whenever I mention my outrageous belief that people should be taught how to handle verbal assault, somebody accuses me of being ‘pro-bullying.’
“John, you jerk!” they say. “You think it’s okay to abuse children! You support beating kids with tennis rackets and burning them with sparklers! How can you call yourself a Christian?!! The fruit of the spirit is kindness and gentleness!!! WHY DON’T YOU TELL BULLIES TO STOP BULLYING!!!!?????”
I’m more than happy to discourage bullying. Feel free to quote my official anti-bullying statement:
“Stop being a bully!”
It is my sincere hope that you don’t expect my official anti-bullying statement to solve your bully problem. Experience has taught me that verbal abusers don’t take my orders very seriously. When I figured out that bullies will continue to bully even after they are instructed to stop, I developed my outrageous belief that I need to learn how to keep bullies from hurting me.
The reason I wear shoes when I go outside is because the ground is littered with things that hurt my feet. Broken glass, sharp sticks, pointy rocks, thistles, stinging insects, and blazing hot asphalt are just a few of the things that torment my unprotected foot flesh. You seem to think that we can shame glass, sticks, rocks, thistles, insects, and asphalt out of existence. Your method of ‘dealing with’ hazards is a futile attempt to eliminate every potential source of injury. To make things worse, you tell me I’m hateful for suggesting you put on some shoes.
Learning to defend your feelings from bullies IS NOT condoning the behavior of bullies. Barefoot people are going to suffer foot injuries and saying that doesn’t make me ‘pro-injury.’ Kids who are not taught to be mentally tough will suffer many injuries. And if you think I’m saying that I want kids to suffer, you haven’t understood anything I said.
“Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.”
(Matthew 5:10)
One Response
I wish I had been taught this as a child. Not only an I not able to handle ANY kind of confrontation/debate, I’ve been unable to teach what you’ve talked about here to my own children. They are grown now and while they outwardly exhibit strength (via mouthiness, debating, and being “in your face”), they are easily hurt, easily angered, and quick to tell you that you have no right to tell them that they’re doing something wrong.
Me? I’m just scared to stand up to them and scared of my own shadow. I applaud your wisdom and wish we lived close enough to learn from your family in person.
Brenda (bree)~