Of all the many reasons to read my blog and listen to my podcast, none is more legitimate than my refreshing rudeness (or if you prefer, hateful, intolerant language). Culture is a desert full of deceitful emotional manipulators and I am an oasis of clarity. You never have to wonder if I’m pandering to your feelings because I don’t care about your feelings at all.
Of all the many ways that I demonstrate my lack of regard for your emotions, none is more legitimate than my refusal to participate in private message exchanges. If I choose to respond to a private message, I will always do it publicly. I’ll drag your secret message out of the dark recesses of Facebook messenger into the sun soaked arena of public discourse.
When I do that, you’ll whine that I have no right to publish our private conversation (which is incorrect) and I’ll respond (as I often do) with a question: “What are you afraid of?” If you bother to answer the question at all, you’ll say something about ‘protecting me from public criticism’ because you’re ‘acting like Jesus’ or something. You’ll try to convince me that the secrecy is for MY sake.
In reality, you’re afraid that your private message makes YOU look bad, not me. This is understandable and completely normal. Voicing your opinions is terrifying. Somebody is going to disagree with you. Even worse, somebody might expose a flaw in your thinking. You might be wrong! You’re hoping we can keep your mistake between the two of us, but that doesn’t fly with me.
It is good to have your opinions scrutinized by others. I do that on a daily basis. I hold my ideas up for the crowd to see. I lack both the time and the interest to discuss my ideas with you one-on-one. I’d love to hear your point of view but I insist you say it so everyone else can hear.
If you’re afraid to say something publicly then sit with that for a little while. Perhaps your fear is justified. Maybe you’re about to say something stupid. That happens to me a lot and it’s a good thing. Fear of looking foolish makes me cautious. I won’t deprive you of that healthy fear by engaging in a private chat.
There are a few circumstances under which a ‘secret dialogue’ is appropriate (SUPRISE! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!). Most of the time, however, private conversations are either gossip sessions or abusive confrontations. I have no interest in listening to you slander a third party. And you’re wasting your time attacking me personally because I don’t value the opinions of cowards.
“Whoever slanders his neighbor in secret, him will I put to silence; whoever has haughty eyes and a proud heart, him will I not endure.”
(Psalm 101:3)
One Response
Well John…I am going out on a limb here and try to answer your blog today publicly! I never did it before because I wasn’t sure how to do it, but it seems pretty straight forward! Let me just say that you can publish whatever I say to you, anytime you want to. I am your number one fan (maybe even a bigger fan than your Mother, Turbo Granny! (plus I like Halloween and she doesn’t!) At least she has to work to stay ahead of me in the adoration department. Keep being the voice that you are. You say it so much better than anyone else! Love, Zip line Granny