If you’re not a Christian, keep freaking out about the Coronavirus. Dash to the store and buy a few metric tons of hand sanitizer. Rent a truck and load it up with toilet paper and bottled water. Wipe bleach on everything you can reach. Get a ladder to wipe bleach on stuff you can’t reach. The apocalypse is nigh! Do whatever it takes to stay alive!!

If you are a Christian, stop freaking out about the Coronavirus. You look silly.

Jesus said:

“And He said to His disciples, “For this reason I say to you, do not worry about your life, as to what you will eat; nor for your body, as to what you will put on.  For life is more than food, and the body more than clothing. Consider the ravens, for they neither sow nor reap; they have no storeroom nor barn, and yet God feeds them; how much more valuable you are than the birds! And which of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life’s span? If then you cannot do even a very little thing, why do you worry about other matters?”

A friend suggested that we stop shaking hands at church until the Coronavirus threat is gone. Will that put your mind at ease? Will you stop worrying if we don’t shake hands anymore?

You can catch Coronavirus by breathing. We should probably cancel church altogether until the threat is over. The pagans are canceling their events. They’re shutting down schools and ending public gatherings. Those who do not fear the eternal God cower before a microscopic virus. Should we imitate them?

Their fear will never end. The Coronavirus is the latest in a long list of cataclysms projected to cause mankind’s extinction. The next great disaster is warming up in the bull pen. When Coronavirus doesn’t wipe-out humanity there will be a new virus.

Or an asteroid.

Or a carbon molecule.

Or an EMP.

Or aliens.

Or Donald Trump will get re-elected.

Again, I’m talking to Christians. You pagans should absolutely panic! You’re gonna die! If the Coronavirus doesn’t get you (but it probably will) then you’ll get hit by an asteroid, or a carbon molecule, or a car with a Donald Trump bumper sticker. Your fate is sealed, pagans. It’s over! You’re done! Slather yourselves with disinfectant and wait for the end of all things!!! If you don’t have disinfectant, beat-up a weak person and take theirs!!!

Do you Christians remember how you’ve testified about trusting God with your life? Remember raising your hands and singing about God’s goodness and faithfulness? Remember all your big talk about overcoming and conquering and walking through the valley of the shadow of death and fearing no evil? Remember??!!

Yes?

Then why are you snatching the last 12 rolls of paper towels off the shelf at Wal-Mart?

Christians: Panic will not add a single hour to your life. Elbow bumping me at church will not add a single hour to your life. You cannot walk by faith and tremble in fear at the same time. God knows the hairs on your head. Nothing will happen to you apart from His will.

Pagans: IT’S ALL OVER!!!! YOU’RE GONNA DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!