Somebody claiming to be on a mission to make sure billionaires don’t destroy public school is bigly mad at something called ‘The “Herzog Foundation” which I assume to be either a diabolical gathering of criminal masterminds or a giant mechanical rodent that topples skyscrapers or a combination of both.

While I’m opposed to criminal hijinks and ransacking robot rodents, I’m totally on board with the hand painted sign that reads, “Our School Is Not Your Church!” It’s way past time to put the religious zealots on notice that they don’t get to preach their sermons to our kids!

Public school is not the place to preach your extremist views on sexuality. If you want to tell your kids they can choose their gender, do it at home.

Public school is not the place to train children to be missionaries (what you call activists). If you want your kids to protest ICE, or march for abortion rights, or mourn the plight of farm animals, do it at home.

Public school is not the place to teach animosity for other religions. It’s your responsibility to teach your kids to hate the GOP, or Capitalism, or Christians, or rich people, or anyone else who thinks differently from you.

Public school is not the place for your narrow-minded religious censorship. If you want to teach your kids that religion is strictly private, do it at home, privately.

“John, you jerk! None of those things are religious! Gender is science! Activism is citizenship! Systemic racism is just history!!! AND SEPARATION OF CHURCH AND STAAAAAAATE!!!!!!!!”

I encourage you to use that fanatical energy to educate your kids! Teach them the science. Teach them the history. Teach them to march and protest and resist and persist and speak truth to power. It is your right to fill your children with any harmful ideas you like. Just do it at home.

Our School Is Not Your Church!

(Deuteronomy 6:5) Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.

Christian Comedy for Hire

If you like my blog even a little bit, then you should know I do Christian Comedy live shows! It’s all the faith and fun you read here, but on stage, it’s even more hilarious. Hire me for your next corporate bash, church event, or school function, and let’s make it a night of laughs with my unique brand of Christian Comedy!

three little pigs

Three Little Pigs

Three Little Pigs in Shakespeare is available as a children’s book. Get the illustrated story based on my viral comedy routine from Amazon.  Makes a great gift for the word-lovers in your life. 

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