ancient wooden pagan statues in dry plain

Progressive Christianity is useless. It’s like a kickstand on an SUV. It’s like a squirt gun in the shower. It is putting on a belt when you’re already wearing suspenders. Progressive Christianity is unearthing a corpse to give it a lethal injection.

There is no rational reason to become a Progressive Christian when you can be a Humanist instead. Humanists believe everyone is good. A Humanist believes love is love and women have the right to choose abortion. A Humanist believes men and women are identical in every way yet the most important difference between us is our ethnicity.

Humanists believe that poverty is a random act of nature and wealth is the result of consistent, intentional aggression. Poor people did nothing to become poor. Rich people obtained their wealth through treachery.

Humanists want to protect the environment and assign rights to animals. They believe that Science will solve every problem. They always trust the experts. Humanism teaches that ‘sin’ is just mental illness which can be overcome by medication.

The only difference between Humanists and Progressive Christians is occasional references to Jesus. Humanists are open about their disdain for all religion. Progressive Christians are not. Humanists are more honest than Progressive Christians.

“John, you jerk! Christians aren’t supposed to judge! YOU’RE JUDGING!!!!”

That’s what a Humanist would say. Thanks! I almost forgot to mention it.

Progressive Christianity is a cheap imitation of a better paganism. Progressive Christians are Atheists who don’t have the guts to admit it. Grow a spine! Hold your head up and proudly renounce Christianity. Then you can take the kickstand off your Jeep.

(2 Timothy 3:1) “But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God— having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with them.”

Christian Comedy for Hire

If you like my blog even a little bit, then you should know I do Christian Comedy live shows! It’s all the faith and fun you read here, but on stage, it’s even more hilarious. Hire me for your next corporate bash, church event, or school function, and let’s make it a night of laughs with my unique brand of Christian Comedy!

three little pigs

Three Little Pigs

Three Little Pigs in Shakespeare is available as a children’s book. Get the illustrated story based on my viral comedy routine from Amazon.  Makes a great gift for the word-lovers in your life. 

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