You’ve filled out the online dating profile.

And you’ve found A MATCH!

You both like seafood!

Piña Colada AND getting caught in the rain!

Your favorite color is blue.

Both want a dog.

No kids!

Both want a two-story house.

Both think toilet paper goes over, not under.

And…

…you both have the same religious views!

So that’s it!

You agree on EVERYTHING!

Marrying this person will be good for you.

And that’s a HORRIBLE reason for marriage.

“It will be good for me,” is a GREAT reason for divorce.

Every heartache comes from someone who used to be good for you.

Maybe you’ll cite some abuse statistics.

After all, some people really are abused by their spouses.

Your friends will believe you’re not at fault.

And giving you advice makes them happy!

“Save yourself!”

“You deserve better!”

“It’s tragic, but in the long run will be good for you!”

Sadly, you won’t be the victim of abuse.

You’ll be the victim of your own conceit and selfishness.

You waste your dating time evaluating how effectively other people please you.

You know nothing about making others happy.

When happiness leaves (and it always does)…you’ll blame the other.

You’ll focus on your pain…

…like you always do.

You’ll confuse suffering with working to fix the problem.

Through angry tears, you’ll insist, “I’m trying!”

You’ll tell yourself that God isn’t happy when you’re unhappy.

Then, when you’ve healed sufficiently…

…you’ll fill out an online dating profile.

Because you deserve to be happy.

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If you like my blog even a little bit, then you should know I do Christian Comedy live shows! It’s all the faith and fun you read here, but on stage, it’s even more hilarious. Hire me for your next corporate bash, church event, or school function, and let’s make it a night of laughs with my unique brand of Christian Comedy!

three little pigs

Three Little Pigs

Three Little Pigs in Shakespeare is available as a children’s book. Get the illustrated story based on my viral comedy routine from Amazon.  Makes a great gift for the word-lovers in your life. 

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11 Responses

  1. Oh,ouch, this is so true! We people can be just terrible at knowing what is really going to make us happy. I’m really fickle,I tell ya. An hour ago I wanted a banana split, knew it would make me happy, and here I am now with a banana split hangover, wondering what the heck I was even thinking. My hubby is really lucky he’s not a banana split.

  2. I love my husband. I REALLY REALLY love him. But, I also have urges to smack him upside the head every once in a while. I’m glad God married us, because together, we have a whole brain. He’s more logical and mathematical, verbal/extroverted, and I’m more spatial, relative reasoning, artsy, introverted. haha, I mean, his strengths and my strengths compliment each other. We drive each other mad with our natural selves, so I’m positive God has us together for our sanctification, I want to be able to look back and see the work He has done through our faithfulness to each other and to the covenant we made with Him. My temper and discontent will be there as long as I have the old man (sin nature; I had to clarify lol) on my back. the forced conception of happiness is another way the enemy tries to molest our joy. Anyway, those are my thoughts, maybe the last you’ll hear from me in awhile (hallelujah! haha) since we are going to be purely data for a time. New house! 🙂

  3. Save time and money, learn to be happy single. Then if the right person shows up, glory be! You’ll actually be able to see them as a person and not another cork too small for the hole in your heart. You save on not having the identity crisis post heartbreak too. It’s a win-win.

    1. If you can’t figure out how to be joyful and content while single, you won’t be able to figure it out when married. Besides who wants to marry someone who’s miserable?

      1. If you can’t figure out how to be joyful and content regardless of your circumstances, then you’re in for a miserable life no matter how many of your wishes are granted.

  4. Yeah, people suck at figuring out what will make them happy.

    Well, I’m off to find personal fulfillment in at least 10 tacos!

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