white house

As much as it is up to me, I try to live at peace with everyone. One of the most important tricks I learned about living peacefully is never to expect other people to be peaceable. I assume you want to control me though you won’t admit it. There’s a good chance you don’t even KNOW that you’re a tyrant. You think you’re a compassionate, open-minded, people lover.

You’re quite worried about elected officials bringing their religion into the political arena. You’re afraid that religious zealotry will destabilize our ‘secular nation.’ The religious kooks will take away gay marriage, women’s rights, marijuana, and public education! Religious politicians will outlaw science and force everybody to get baptized!! Atheists will be burned at the stake!!!!!

Yep. That’s certainly a possibility. Religious politicians are not to be trusted. They’re greedy, power-hungry, selfish individuals who often use their office to enrich themselves. They just want to control me. Same as you.

“John, you jerk! I just want separation of church and state! I don’t want YOU to control ME with your whacky, Bronze Age religious nuttery!!!!”

Right! The fear of being oppressed has turned you into a magnificent oppressor. Your pre-emptive ban on ‘all religion in politics’ is the philosophical equivalent to lining up the opposition in front of a firing squad. Like all good tyrants, you believe squashing your dissenters will bring about Utopia. You’re quite like those religious politicians who worry you so much. The difference is that your religious nuttery dates back earlier than the Bronze Age.

I’ve got your number. Whether you call yourself a secularist or a saint, you want to push your views onto me. That’s what I’ve come to expect and I’m at peace with it. I suggest you expect me to push back.

(Romans 13:4) The authorities are God’s servants, sent for your good. But if you are doing wrong, of course you should be afraid, for they have the power to punish you. They are God’s servants, sent for the very purpose of punishing those who do what is wrong. So you must submit to them, not only to avoid punishment, but also to keep a clear conscience.

Christian Comedy for Hire

If you like my blog even a little bit, then you should know I do Christian Comedy live shows! It’s all the faith and fun you read here, but on stage, it’s even more hilarious. Hire me for your next corporate bash, church event, or school function, and let’s make it a night of laughs with my unique brand of Christian Comedy!

three little pigs

Three Little Pigs

Three Little Pigs in Shakespeare is available as a children’s book. Get the illustrated story based on my viral comedy routine from Amazon.  Makes a great gift for the word-lovers in your life. 

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