I tried to solve the Rubik’s Cube years ago.

Persistence payed off.

I solved it.

It took hours of concentration

…turning the cube over in my hands

…studying the the colored squares

…gently peeling the stickers off

…reapplying them in perfect alignment

I’ll admit my solution was a hollow victory.

But the invention of a Rubik’s solving robot

…has reinvigorated my contempt for the cube.

This vile machine reminds me of my shortcomings.

What kind of person builds a machine like this?

What depth of evil is required to say,

“Solving Rubik’s is so easy, I bet my phone can do it.”

Your phone doesn’t even have arms!

“No problem, I’ll just build some arms for it.”

Three seconds.

The machine solves Rubik’s Cube in 3 seconds.

It took me almost 10 minutes to get my Rubik’s Cube out of it’s packaging.

The only way I could possibly compete with this robot

…would be at an Amish homestead.

Even then,

…the rules would have to allow for peeling.