Sports Illustrated made several bold changes to this year’s swimsuit edition. The popular sports magazine will contain no articles about sports and no illustrations of any kind including pictures of girls wearing swimsuits.
The publishers made the groundbreaking announcement shortly after looking at the proposed cover featuring Valentina Sampaio, the first transgender model to appear in the magazine. “We figured our readers were ready for a change,” said Chris Stone, editorial director for Sports Illustrated. “We’ve been featuring girls in swimsuits for over 50 years and even though nobody was complaining, we thought it was time to feature a dude who looks like a girl in a swimsuit. After that, the decision to ravage the rest of the magazine came pretty easily.”
The swimsuit edition will contain articles related to scrap booking and interpreting the enneagram. The entire magazine will be black text on white paper. All pictures have been replaced with descriptive paragraphs.
SI is hoping to set a new standard in publishing. “Old school publishers focused only on their audience,” Stone explained. “They only cared about what their readers wanted. Our focus is broader. We’re putting out a magazine with no specific audience so it’s inclusive of everybody!”
The swimsuit edition will be available exclusively from a single news stand located in Moscow, Idaho. Ordinary distribution channels are regressive and unimaginative. This is not your father’s sports magazine and if you want it, get off your lazy rear end, open your mind, and come get it.
