birds swimming in lake water near pier and yacht

I’m not kidding when I say there are some people who are worried about the size of Earth’s deserts. These people honestly believe we should convert deserts into other types of environments. If you don’t think it’s necessary to turn Earth’s deserts into forests, you can skip this and get on with your life. I’ll wait a minute while the sensible people leave the room…

Okay, that left some vacant seats up front so feel free to move closer. I’ve got good news and you need to hear it. There have always been deserts on the Earth. Huge chunks of land are hot, dry places where no plants grow and there is nothing to drink. You can stop worrying about sand dunes.

Some “expert” with a Ph.D. told you that the human population is affecting the temperature of the Earth. The Ph.D. showed you some charts that you didn’t understand, said some science-words, and now you’re afraid to exhale because it contributes to greenhouse gases in the atmosphere (which you believe is bad but don’t know why).

The good news is: Experts with Ph.D.’s don’t always know what they’re talking about. Experts are sometimes mistaken. And, brace yourself…seriously, you should sit down…experts sometimes even lie about stuff. Often, they lie about being experts on the subject they’re speaking about. So, go ahead and exhale!

Climate change activism is a waste of your hysteria. There are better things to worry about. For example, you could panic about your gullibility. You should be freaking out about the fact that you’ll believe ANYTHING you’re told by ANYONE who claims to be an authority. You honestly believe we can (and should!) turn deserts into forests. That is pro-level gullible. You should be worried sick!

What you should NOT do is spend your hysterical energy yelling at me. I’m not even a little bit interested in your views on the climate crisis. I don’t care that you’re concerned for polar bears. I don’t want to hear your thoughts about glaciers. Keep your opinions on rising sea levels to yourself. Because…you’re not an expert.

There is not one thing that you can do to lower the Earth’s temperature by even a fraction of a degree. You cannot turn a dune into a meadow. You have no idea what makes a tree come from a seed planted in the dirt. The fate of the Earth is in the hands of its Creator. God is the only expert whose opinion matters.

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline.

(Proverbs 1:7)

Christian Comedy for Hire

If you like my blog even a little bit, then you should know I do Christian Comedy live shows! It’s all the faith and fun you read here, but on stage, it’s even more hilarious. Hire me for your next corporate bash, church event, or school function, and let’s make it a night of laughs with my unique brand of Christian Comedy!

three little pigs

Three Little Pigs

Three Little Pigs in Shakespeare is available as a children’s book. Get the illustrated story based on my viral comedy routine from Amazon.  Makes a great gift for the word-lovers in your life. 

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