Wives obey your husbands!
Did you know that right before 1 Peter 3:7 there are verses 5 and 6? It’s true! Don’t take my word for it. (Never take my word for it. Always check to make sure I’m telling the truth.) Look it up yourself.
“For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.”
– 1 Peter 3:5
Sometimes I speak at marriage conferences and it always gets a laugh when I say, “Ladies, you should start calling your husband ‘Master’.” That line brings the house down! No self-respecting, empowered, intelligent woman in the United States would call her hopelessly flawed husband, ‘Master.’ For at least a million reasons, your husband isn’t worthy of the title, ‘Master.’
Some wives will say, “My husband cheats on me! I refuse to obey anyone who betrays me!”
When the scripture tells you to do something difficult, like submit to your husband, it is not good to immediately look for ways to justify ignoring it. You have a lousy husband. There is no doubt about that. Every husband is a sinner. Do you think God doesn’t know that? Do you think God is surprised by your husband’s depravity? Sarah’s husband made her a sex slave in a foreign land. But (I’m very sorry about this) — Sarah is the example you’ve been given.
Sarah’s husband gave her away to a foreign king. Actually, he did it more than once! A reasonable person would call that an epic betrayal. Sarah didn’t submit to Abraham because he had earned her trust. She submitted to Abraham because she trusted God. Sort of. (She had the bright idea to have Abraham sleep with her maidservant to help God fulfill a promise. But that’s not relevant right now.)
If you’re going to say that verses 5 and 6 don’t apply to your situation, then to be fair, you need to throw out verse 7 as well. “Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.” – 1 Peter 3:7
It’s more than just a little bit unfair to exempt yourself from submitting to your husband while holding him to the commandment to be considerate of you. If your husband DOES treat you with consideration, don’t make the mistake of thinking it’s because you DESERVE it. He’s treating you with respect because that’s how he worships God. Your husband and you are BOTH unworthy of love and respect. If this is shocking to you, then you’ve learned about relationships from Disney movies and not from scripture.
NOTICE: I’m NOT telling you what you should do. I’m just highlighting a couple of bible verses that most men are afraid to read out loud in mixed company. Submitting to your husband is your call. Submitting to God is also your call and, unfortunately, that requires submitting to your lousy husband.
2 Responses
Hey John. Nice job. The problem with subjects like this. Most people who hear it. Hear it with a western culture lens. I have a ministry to Pakistan. They are closer to the truth of how relationships are be biblically. The mind set is soooo different than what we are taught. For them if u are a Christian girl, You are a virgin when you marry. There is no compromise to this ideal. Now the men there vain mamas boys. But I digress. For me personally. God showed me this truth about marriage through my struggles having a wife that suffered with Schizophrenia. God showed me as a husband that my job as her husband was to love her unconditionally. When I was able to accept this paradigm shift. Our lives improved dramatically. Not because she changed. But because I found peace in our marriage. I believe that all through Scripture God is trying to teach us how to love as he loves. That is without condition. The reason why my first marriage failed and the same for all failed marriages. The one or both put condition on there partner. In the Lords prayer, Jesus says pray “like” this: On earth as it is in heaven. We are to model our lives as best we can as they live in heaven. So we ask ourselves. What is that? unconditional love. If a man loves his wife. He will move heaven and earth to do what ever he can to make sure she is blessed in her life, And vice versa.
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If I had a nickel for every time I’ve pointed out that it simply says submit, not submit if your husband [whatever], I’d have a whole bunch of nickles.