The 50th Super Bowl is over.

How is it possible?

After…

…wearing  jerseys and cheering until our throats burned

…eating our collective weight in chicken wings

…drinking gallons of [insert name brand beverage]

…burning images of puppy monkey baby into our subconscious

…believing in love (the gay kind)

…acknowledging that we’re a country full of racists

…cheering the winners

…admiring the sportsmanship of the losers

…and littering like it’s legal

How is it possible…

…my life is not noticeably better?

Everything is just like it was BEFORE the Super Bowl!

For all that hype, I expected a lasting euphoria.

Today I’m writing checks to pay utility bills.

I need to replace the bulb in the kitchen light.

What’s going on here?!!

I’m not even thinking about last week’s important game.

Oh, God in heaven!

The biggest sporting event on planet Earth is meaningless!

Where can I quench this thirst for significance?

…

When does baseball season start?