To all my enlightened, non-religious friends…

…everyone who has “escaped the shackles” of Christianity...

…you rational, free-thinking, super-smart humanists, atheists, and agnostics…

HAPPY THURSDAY!

If you have plans to observe Thanksgiving…

…then let me say…

I’m imagining your pagan thanksgiving celebration.

And it’s hysterical!

10:00 am – Tofu salad preparation begins.

10:05 am – Blog about the moral superiority of eating tofu on Thanksgiving.

10:30 am – Some homo sapiens arrive at your house.

12:15 pm – Homo sapiens congratulate each other for being alive.

12:16 pm – Homo sapiens voice appreciation to reality in general for being the way it is.

12:17 pm – Grumbling about certain aspects of reality that you wish were different.

12:30 pm – Relief expressed for being free from religious oppression.

12:45 pm – Happiness expressed to a non-specified subject for certain acts of evolution.

1:00 pm – Post pictures of tofu salad on Instagram

1:01 pm – Have buffalo wings delivered and watch football.

Thanksgiving is pointless when you don’t believe in God.

Gratitude is a delusion.

So…Happy Thursday Heathen!

As a gesture of goodwill…

…I’ll be thankful on your behalf.

Praise By Proxy

The universe doesn’t care about your thankfulness.

But I’ve got you covered!

I’ll let God know how you feel.

Enjoy your wings!