Imagine you’ve signed-up to take a cooking class. The first day of class, the instructor introduces himself. “My name is Jake. I’m not a great cook but I know how to pour milk on cereal. I can also heat ravioli in the microwave. I want everyone to feel welcome and accepted here. Let’s get started.”

Jake wears a chef’s hat and quotes from cook books a lot. He uses cooking lingo too. He calls squirting canned cheese on crackers, “Making hors d’oeuvres.” He empties a can of tuna onto a pile of instant rice and calls it, “Sushi.” And he says potato chips count as “appetizers” even when you eat them right out of the bag.

Got the picture? Now, how many weeks would you spend in Jake’s cooking class? Would you prioritize that class at the top of your list of things to do?

Imagine you’ve become a church member. The first day of services, the pastor addresses the congregation. “Welcome! My name is Jake. I want to remind you that you’re covered with disease. You may not be displaying symptoms yet still carrying germs that could kill vulnerable people. Use the hand sanitizer provided under your seat. Don’t touch anyone. Don’t touch anything.”

Jake wears a mask and surgical gloves while he quotes from the Bible.

What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who is against us? He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him over for us all, how will He not also with Him freely give us all things? Who will bring a charge against God’s elect? God is the one who justifies; who is the one who condemns? Christ Jesus is He who died, yes, rather who was raised, who is at the right hand of God, who also intercedes for us. Who will separate us from the love of Christ? Will tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?  Just as it is written,
“For Your sake we are being put to death all day long;
We were considered as sheep to be slaughtered.”
But in all these things we overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loved us.

Romans 8:31

Pastor Jake understands that it may take a long time before you stop being afraid. And that’s okay! He sympathizes with your anxiety. That’s why every conceivable, man-made precaution is in place to keep you safe while you celebrate your faith in God.

Got the picture? How many weeks do you keep going to that church? You might as well stay home and watch videos to learn how to pour milk on cereal.

When a preacher in a hazmat suit tells you to trust God, the proper response is laughter. Gathering together and observing social distancing is a joke. It’s not “thoughtful” or “compassionate”. It’s a sketch comedy. If you’re doing it with a straight face, it means you have no sense of humor.

A fraidy cat church is an irrelevant church. When the world cowers from COVID-19, they don’t need the church to offer hand sanitizer. They need the church to offer hope.

UPDATE: I need to clarify this blog post. It could easily be interpreted to mean that I think Christians shouldn’t take precautions because God will always protect us from harm. That’s not what I intended to communicate.

God gave us brains. We use those brains to invent hand sanitizer, masks, and the technique of sneezing into our elbows. If you are genuinely concerned that attending church service could make you or someone else sick, stay home. It does not display a lack of faith when you take precautions to avoid harming yourself or someone else.

My post does not contain any nuance. I did not intend to say that being careful is a joke. However, I do think the picture is funny so I’m going to leave it.