I ran across this tidbit of scripture recently.
“But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.” – 1 Peter 2:9
I’ve read it before, but the modern church context gives it a fresh meaning.
At face value, these words are horrifying.
Imagine yourself as a one of a ‘royal priesthood’.
Makes your palms sweat, doesn’t it?
How could you be a priest?
You’ve never been to seminary.
You’ve never been ordained.
You don’t have a tattoo.
When you say ‘Bro’ it sounds awkward.
You’re not part of a church staff.
Heck, you don’t even read the Bible!
You’re a Christian but not ‘that kind’ of Christian.
So, there’s NO WAY you should be a priest!
Relax.
You’re making things too hard.
In order to ‘declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness’, you need only memorize this one phrase:
“Come to church and listen to my pastor.”
That’s it!
You are now equipped to answer any theological question:
- What happens to people who don’t accept Jesus?
- Why do you think you’re right and everyone else is wrong?
- Isn’t it true that all religions are the same?
- What does atonement mean?
- What is sin?
- Why does evil exist?
- Why are you so judgmental?
- You have to admit that the Bible is full of errors, right?
- You honestly believe a snake can talk?
- Why don’t you believe in Science?
- Why should I come to church and listen to your pastor?
There is no question that you can’t handle!
And you don’t need to know anything!
The Gospel is complicated.
The only people who understand it are the authors of devotional books…
…And your pastor.
Everybody knows this anyway.
When someone asks, “What do you believe?”
They’re not really expecting YOU to answer that question.
They’re expecting you to refer them to a professional Christian.
So be bold!
Embrace your ‘chosen’ status!
There’s a dark, hopeless world waiting to hear the Good News!
The message that only your Pastor can deliver.
4 Responses
Well done, John! Don’t forget that the pastor’s message is so good because he has a great warm up act, oops, I mean, killer worship band.
Well done, Fanci! Did you get that from your pastor? 😉
Sir, I am pretty darn sure Mr. Branyan is not a Mormon. Neither am I.
So allow me to sprinkle a little salt and shine my little light.
Here goes.
Jesus is not God because He worked His way up to that status by doing enough good works. He is The God. The only God, begotten, not made. True God from True God.
You cannot work your way up to becoming a god by doing enough good works.
Good works do not save anyone. Putting ones trust entirely in the saving work of Jesus Christ is the only way anyone will be fit for heaven. People can rest on that and stop trying to earn enough brownie points.
So, your LDS mission is earning you nothing. It is giving you a false sense of security. Lay down your burden and put your faith on Him.
The royal Priesthood is only for those who do that, not for those who try to hard enough and go on enough missions.
I tell you this truth because I care that you are believing in a false Christ.
Go your way.
You’ve never served an LDS mission, have you, Satirist? You wouldn’t know, then, would you? The Royal Priesthood is there for anyone who wants it. Now, if you just wanna make fun, go right ahead. Nobody is going to stop you! Be careful what you wish for.