In celebration of Father’s Day, Jennifer Lopez let her millions of Instagram followers know that Ben Affleck is, ‘the most selfless daddy ever.’ I commented, “The most selfless daddies are still married to mommy.”
I’m aware that divorce is a sensitive issue and there are many, many, many reasons for breaking your promises. I understand that divorcing your spouse does NOT mean that you don’t love your children! It simply means that you love yourself more.
That shouldn’t make you angry!
I’m told that ‘self-love’ is the crucial first step in loving others. Sometimes it’s necessary to kick your family to the curb so you can be there for them when they really need you. Focusing on your own well-being right now will enable you to help your children cope with their abandonment issues later.
Often, selfishness is an act of selflessness. When my four kids were little, they were always worried about my happiness. I had to constantly remind the little ones to quit thinking about Daddy all the time and focus on themselves. They were always asking if I was achieving my dreams and finding fulfillment in life. When my youngest daughter was 3-years old, she once said, “Daddy, if there’s someplace else you need to be in order to be happy, I understand. Don’t let us hold you back!”
I’m kidding. My kids never worried about stressing me out. They spent every moment of every day trying to get what they wanted with no regard for how it affected the rest of the family. My kids had to be TAUGHT that selfishness is sin. Your kids are different.
In your family, you can pursue your own self interest and still get credit for being, ‘the most selfless daddy ever.’ Your kids don’t need to see what sacrificial love looks like. They don’t need their parents to teach them integrity, perseverance, or humility. Go ahead and bust up the family. Your kids will be fine.
(Malachi 2:15) Has not the Lord made them one? In flesh and spirit they are his. And why one? Because he was seeking godly offspring. So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith with the wife of your youth. “I hate divorce,” says the Lord God of Israel, “and I hate a man’s covering himself with violence as well as with his garment,” says the Lord Almighty. So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith.
