Imagine sitting at a table with some friends. You’re chatting casually about the weather, sports, home repair, and the mole on your arm that is turning a weird color. Then, one of your friends says, “You know, I’m concerned about corruption in Wash…”

And suddenly, a burly nerd appears and covers your friend’s mouth. “I’m sorry,” says the nerd with a slight lisp, “That language violates our community standards.”

You respond, “Oh! Sorry about that! We didn’t mean to break the rules!” However, your friend’s response is a little different. As the burly nerd retreats back to the shadowy lair from whence it came, your friend exclaims, “What’s wrong with you? A dude just put his hand over my mouth!”

You sheepishly reply, “Well, you were going to say something unkind. It’s not nice to call people corrupt.”

Your friend points his finger at you and shouts, “ARE YOU F…” and the burly-nerd slaps his hand over your friend’s mouth again. “This is your second warning,” the nerd explains. “If you violate our standards of decency again, we will remove you from this table for 30-days.”

You thank the nerd for saving you from your friend’s angry words. The nerd nods at you and disappears down a staircase into Hell. “Control yourself,” you whisper to your friend. “You’re going to get us both in trouble!”

At this point, I come into the room and sit down at the table. I talk directly to your friend and ignore you completely.

“You should change tables,” I tell your friend. “This table doesn’t allow free speech. As long as you’re sitting here, you’ll be oppressed.”

“But I’ll be all alone at the new table,” your friend sobs. “My friends are all at this table! They share pictures of cats and post stories about their families all the time. I don’t want to miss out!”

“That’s right,” you say – but I continue to ignore you.

I gently put my arm around your sobbing friend and say with great sympathy, “I understand. It’s scary when you’re the first to do something new. For awhile, you might be lonely at the table all by yourself.”

In a whirlwind of demons, the burly nerd appears at the table. “It is a violation of our Terms of Service to mention other tables,” he says while wagging his finger. He puts his clawed hands over your ears so you can’t hear me ask your friend, “Is there any difference between sitting alone at a table and staying here talking to people who can’t hear you?”

I’m still talking only to your friend when I say,

I know it’s hard to change social media platforms. For awhile, there’s nothing happening. You’re all alone. Do you know why that is?

Because you left your friends at the other table!!!

Invite your friends over to the new place! Instead of crying about how “dead” it is on MeWe, tell your loved ones to JOIN YOU. That’s how social media works!

Will ALL your friends join you? Of course not! Some will stay behind because they don’t mind having their mouths and ears covered up. You can hang around at the old table and keep trying to persuade them to leave with you, but you shouldn’t let them prevent you from making the leap to a free-speech platform.

Facebook and Twitter are censoring the President of the United States. Think about that. The President cannot speak freely on the biggest social media platforms on Earth. When the President isn’t allowed to talk at the table, it’s time to change tables.

Do it today. Right now.

Go here: https://mewe.com/i/johnbranyan

Finally, I turn to you, show you a picture of a cat and say, “Enjoy being oppressed!”

Christian Comedy for Hire

If you like my blog even a little bit, then you should know I do Christian Comedy live shows! It’s all the faith and fun you read here, but on stage, it’s even more hilarious. Hire me for your next corporate bash, church event, or school function, and let’s make it a night of laughs with my unique brand of Christian Comedy!

three little pigs

Three Little Pigs

Three Little Pigs in Shakespeare is available as a children’s book. Get the illustrated story based on my viral comedy routine from Amazon.  Makes a great gift for the word-lovers in your life. 

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One Response

  1. Very good post, and congratulations on your platform upgrade!

    Brighteon.com is also a free video upload site, run by Mike Adams – a very good man, who was de-platformed a while ago.

    Here is a very blunt and powerful message from Rudy Giuliani to Joe Biden. This would never survive on YouTube, FB, Twitter… the scaly, taloned hand would wrap around Rudy’s mouth so fast, no one would ever hear him. I’m actually praying for his safety.

    I hope this link is still viable:

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