Donald Trump.

He’s the candidate that everyone admires.

Brash.

Unapologetic.

Confident.

We love that!

We don’t even notice his lack of substance.

So…

I’m going to write this like Donald Trump.

I’ve done a lot of stuff.

I’ve written books.

I’ve performed on stage.

I’ve made money.

I’ve been successful.

People like me.

I talked to somebody today who said,

“I really like you.”

Some of the people who like me are from foreign countries.

I get along with everybody…

…who isn’t a moron.

That qualifies me to assess the GOP debate.

Besides, people are sick of political experts.

Let me assure you, I am not an expert…

…but I’m smarter than you.

So believe me when I tell you…

…with absolute certainty…

…the GOP Debate winner was…

Marco Rubio.

He’s the only guy running for President who admits…

…that the President can’t fix all your problems.

Imagine.

A President who doesn’t think The President is omnipotent.

He’s suggesting that your life might suck…

…because of you.

He’s confessing that government can’t prevent you…

…from becoming an unprincipled savage.

You have the right to enjoy the consequences of your immorality.

Rubio nailed it.

He wins.

Don’t argue with me.

…I’ve got comedy projects on DVD.