I’ve read a lot of these articles recently.

Essentially, Christians are getting in the way of the Gospel.

People would be flocking to church except…

…that’s where all the Christians hang out.

We Christians are trying.

Listening to you non-believers…

Practicing tolerance…

Adjusting our doctrine to accommodate your lifestyle…

Allowing the words Jesus didn’t say to speak louder than those He did…

We Christians really are trying.

But it feels like you’re not reciprocating.

Here are three things you pagans do that discourage Christians.

WHINING ABOUT BEING “DRIVEN AWAY”

This is the non-religious mantra:

“The [ choose all that apply ] in Christians is driving me away!”

  • hypocrisy
  • bigotry
  • piousness
  • lack of compassion
  • phoniness
  • arrogance
  • angriness

Yowza!

Apparently, Christians do more driving than a PGA Tournament’s top 50 qualifiers.

Life on Earth is a wasteland.

Nothing to drink.

Jesus came down as “Living water”.

A single swallow and you “never thirst again”.

You, weary traveler, crawl dust-covered to the believer’s door.

As that believer bends to offer the water…

… you cry out with your parched, cracked throat…

“I don’t like the way you hold the canteen!”

Indignantly, you crawl on into the desert.

God Speed, my friend!

EQUATING CRITICISM WITH HATE

It shows up in your relentless quoting of these two words:

Don’t judge!

It’s the only scripture you know…

…But it’s enough.

Nobody can mention your…

  • immodesty
  • vulgarity
  • promiscuity
  • criminal record
  • substance abuse
  • propensity for lighting puppies on fire

…lest you accuse them of spewing ‘HATE!’

Here’s what makes Christianity such a great deal.

You misbehave.

Jesus takes the blame and the punishment.

It’s actually the OPPOSITE of hate.

It’s a great deal for everyone…

…except people who are perfect.

If you’re perfect…

…you have every right to tell others not to judge.

But if you’re not perfect, that brings us to number three…

DISMISSING CHRISTIANS BECAUSE THEY’RE NOT PERFECT

I was in 1st grade when I stuck my finger in the pencil sharpener.

I did it for science.

Research to determine whether or not my pinky finger…

…would fit in the sharpener’s largest opening.

It did.

Barely.

Pulling it out sliced a groove in the tip of my finger.

Later that year, one of my friends mused:

“I wonder if a finger fits in the pencil sharpener”

I spoke with authority when I answered.

“That is a horrible life choice!”

My statement was certainly judgmental.

Critical.

Even HYPOCRITICAL.

Audaciously condemning a behaviour which I was guilty of myself.

A life lived perfectly does not include…

…jamming any part of yourself into a pencil sharpener.

I was flawed.

Imperfect.

…but not wrong.

My shame is the source of my wisdom.

Christians recognize sin because…

…we are sinners ourselves.

You can shrug and say:

“I don’t care if I’m annoying Christians.”

You have that luxury.

Christians have instructions to positively engage non-believers.

Non-believers make up their own rules.

On the off chance that you sincerely value tolerance…

…I thought you’d appreciate knowing how we feel.

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6 Responses

  1. “My shame is the source of my wisdom.” That statement holds a lot of weight. Nicely stated. Matter of fact, loving this whole post. Can’t wait to see what you come up with next.

  2. Pingback: I’m Not Gonna Love Like Jesus | The Comedy Sojourn
  3. The god made of play-doh. Form him into any shape you wish and then stash him back in the can when you are bored with the game.
    Because this is Amurika! And we want it our way!!

  4. I’m not sure about that. God has been ‘reshaped’ in American culture. He approves of virtually everything we want to do. He’s all for same sex marriage. He doesn’t mind sex outside of marriage. He condones divorce in favor of personal ‘happiness’. He’s not opposed to abortion. My experience is that EVERYBODY thinks God approves of them…including people who don’t personally approve of Him.

  5. that last bit was the one that got me most, because I believe that this was what you have tagged “Holy sarcasm,” in the past. The reason I say that is that I don’t believe they truly do value tolerance, at least not in a genuine sense. They just want acceptance and approval from someone because they know that they will not get it from God.

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