cart push cart shadow shopping cart

I need to set the record straight but this is the internet where everyone thinks everything they read is about them so I have to explain who I’m talking to before I set the record straight. I’m talking to women who admit they would be terrible mothers if they had kids. If you’re not a terrible mother, I’m not talking to you.

To you terrible mothers, I want you to know that I trust you are telling the truth when you say that your home is no place for a child. I am NOT telling you to have children. Quite the opposite! I love children. I don’t want children to grow up under the tyranny of a narcissistic mom. No kid should be forced to live with a woman who prefers dogs. I encourage you to remain childless.

All of our behaviors say something about what’s happening on the inside. When we make the intentional decision to leave the shopping cart in the middle of the parking lot, purely because we don’t enjoy walking all the way to the cart corral and we figure someone else will handle it, that is a reflection of our character… And, when you choose to AVOID having kids, purely because you don’t enjoy making personal sacrifices and you figure someone else’s kids will take care of you in the nursing home, then THAT reflects your character as well.

Notice this has nothing to do with infertility or miscarriages… That’s like having a conversation about people who leave carts in the middle of the parking lot–on purpose–and then bringing up people who get hit by a car in the parking lot and are UNABLE to return their shopping cart because they were taken away in an ambulance. Quit trying to change the subject. I’m only talking to terrible mothers.

I hope this clears up the confusion. I am not telling women who hate children that they ought to have children. My descendants will experience better lives in an environment devoid of your grandchildren. Stick with dumb beasts that don’t know good from evil.

(Psalm 37:28) For the Lord loves the just and will not forsake his faithful ones. They will be protected forever, but the offspring of the wicked will be cut off; the righteous will inherit the land and dwell in it forever.

Christian Comedy for Hire

If you like my blog even a little bit, then you should know I do Christian Comedy live shows! It’s all the faith and fun you read here, but on stage, it’s even more hilarious. Hire me for your next corporate bash, church event, or school function, and let’s make it a night of laughs with my unique brand of Christian Comedy!

three little pigs

Three Little Pigs

Three Little Pigs in Shakespeare is available as a children’s book. Get the illustrated story based on my viral comedy routine from Amazon.  Makes a great gift for the word-lovers in your life. 

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