Blame me! It’ll make you feel better.

Tomorrow is an important day.

Tomorrow we vote.

We select the people who control our destiny!

Those responsible for every hardship that befalls us.

Our scapegoats.

Will we…

be able to learn a skill?

learn to read or write?

learn to play guitar?

be employed?

own a home?

acquire food?

find love?

These questions are answered in the voting booth.

Elect the right person.

Because it’s hell when the other guys win!

With their dark policies of hate!

They control us from their plush offices.

Make us…

rack up credit card debt.

split our families apart.

riot in the streets.

drink alcohol.

use drugs.

drop out of school.

get pregnant.

lie.

cheat.

steal.

And generally cause cultural harm.

It’s all their fault.

It must be.

It can’t be ours.

We’re not accountable.

It’s the system, man!

The system is breaking us down!

So go vote tomorrow!

Your alibi depends on it!

Christian Comedy for Hire

If you like my blog even a little bit, then you should know I do Christian Comedy live shows! It’s all the faith and fun you read here, but on stage, it’s even more hilarious. Hire me for your next corporate bash, church event, or school function, and let’s make it a night of laughs with my unique brand of Christian Comedy!

three little pigs

Three Little Pigs

Three Little Pigs in Shakespeare is available as a children’s book. Get the illustrated story based on my viral comedy routine from Amazon.  Makes a great gift for the word-lovers in your life. 

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