In fourth grade, a classmate asked me,
“Would you rather have a punch in the nose or a punch in the eye?”
I answered, “Neither.”
…so the kid punched me in the stomach.
This year we’re going to be asked,
“Do you want Hillary or Trump as President?”
If we answer, “Neither”…
…We get hit with Bernie Sanders.
I’m tempted to tear my robes, raise my arms to the heavens and cry out, “Why? Oh God, Why?”
But I haven’t done that for a couple of reasons.
First, I don’t own a robe.
Secondly, I already know why.
Women’s health services have eviscerated enough babies to populate our largest 100 cities.
It is inappropriate to refer to services that result in dead babies as ‘murderous’.
We arrest journalists for using false I.D. in order to discover the illegal sales of baby parts.
Babies that live through mom’s exercising of her rights don’t know dad.
Or they know dad as that loser-jerk who never sends the support check.
Marriage is whatever two people say it is so long as those people don’t force their definition on the rest of us.
Congress can force their definition of marriage on everyone.
People with bigoted definitions are not allowed to sell pizza.
We’re convinced that gender is a state of mind.
Separation of church and state means, “God doesn’t exist so keep your mouth shut!”
And Evangelicals are turning to God to get us out of this mess.
…By ‘God’ I mean Donald Trump.
Trump, a Presbyterian who ‘loves God’ said this in an interview:
This bold statement of faith got him endorsed by Liberty University.
Psst…
If you believe yourself to be an evangelical and you can’t find a doctrinal error in the above video…
…you are not an evangelical.
You’re kind of like the Hebrews who asked Samuel for a king to “Make Israel Great Again”.
God said to Samuel:
“Listen to all that the people are saying to you; it is not you they have rejected, but they have rejected me as their king. As they have done from the day I brought them up out of Egypt until this day, forsaking me and serving other gods, so they are doing to you. Now listen to them; but warn them solemnly and let them know what the king who will reign over them will claim as his rights.”
Hillary, Bernie, Donald…doesn’t matter.
We’re going to get slugged.
And we deserve it.
6 Responses
“doctrinal error” like there’s only one haha, and these are only but a few…, Spam is more real meat than Trump is a Christian
Bwahaha…Spam…Trump…good one! If only “churches” were as concerned about teaching doctrine as they are about how everyone coming in the door “feels.”
A true comedic gift: the ability to cause one’s audience to laugh while they mourn their current status and impending doom. A Bible study teacher said, as the group bemoaned the state of our country and world, “remember, these things have to happen for Jesus to return.” 🙂
Thank you John and thank you Lord that this isn’t our home!
Jerry Falwell Jr. endorsed Trump not Liberty University. As a student at Liberty University, I can tell you that many students and faculty, including myself, do not support Trump.
Either way, whoever becomes president we are likely in for trouble.
Good point, Keri. Didn’t mean to imply that all students are cool with the endorsement. Unfortunately, the position of the President is generally the only position that gets press.
I read your blog and the article about Falwells (never been a fan, btw) endorsement.
The article…I cannot wrap my mind around what was stated by Falwell in the article. I have a robe and I want to tear it.
The video highlights a self-righteous man who is trying to be his own savior.
Sadly, Trump repeats the battle cry of so many,
“I am a good person!!!”
Yeah. Right.
There is an old saying, “you get the government you deserve”.
You are right. We deserve what is coming.
I still pray for my country, for the body of Christ and for my close loved ones. I believe His judgment is upon us.
Thank you for another well written piece. Keep looking up.