*For maximum effect, ask a body builder to stand one inch from your face and scream this article*

Hey, you!

You’re a dude who knows he’s screwed up!

You’re flabby and ashamed and hypoglycemic and lactose intolerant and there’s a weird rash on your left elbow.

So listen up because Garrett J. White (who I call GJW for short even though it’s one syllable longer) is gonna change your life!

Who is Garrett J. White?

He’s a guy who used to be a failure but now he succeeds all the time.

He’s so successful, his family dresses for the beach like they’re going to the Academy Awards.

Be honest, man!

Last time you went to the beach you didn’t even wear a shirt.

GJW can relate to that shame.

He was once just like you.

He drove cars that cost less than jet planes.

He ate food that wasn’t fresh picked from secret orchards in Madagascar.

He dated women who weren’t perfect.

Like you, GJW sucked.

But now he’s awesome and he’s going to tell you how to be awesome too!

Rather than wasting time Googling for evidence that Garrett J. White is a world renowned speaker and successful businessman, get on his mailing list!

In just 10 minutes a day, GJW will make your life the envy of every man on the planet (except GJW himself).

You have no excuse!

Stop failing!

*For maximum effect do pushups until you pass out*