The eye care industry recently made a tremendous leap forward with the invention of a new kind of “woke” contact lenses that allow the wearer to literally see their privilege. The lenses are currently in the final stages of testing and only available to people with both astigmatism and white fragility.

“Wearing these contacts has been an eye opening experience,” said Trudy Belltower with a slight smile, hoping her pun would not go unnoticed. “My privilege is a smirking, white male who wears a wife beater and carries a rifle. He’s usually ‘manspreading’ right next to me while re-tweeting Donald Trump. His smug expression tells me he never thinks about how difficult it is for people of color to buy bandages that match their skin tone.”

Joseph Tolin has a similar description of his privilege. “The guy is a jerk,” Tolin explains. “Whenever there’s a woman in the room, he gives her the finger. When she’s talking, he stands right behind her, crosses his eyes and mockingly copies her gestures. My privilege embarrasses me”

Another contact wearer, Darren Guiles, described how seeing his privilege forced him to quit his job. “I could see him standing near the door to the building where I worked. Whenever a dark skinned person came into the building, my privilege climbed on their shoulders and rode them around like a horse! It was horrifying! I had to resign to save my conscience. I’ve moved into an underground bunker and plan to dismantle systemic injustice by starving to death.”

The manufacturer is hoping to make woke contact lenses available to the public before the end of the year. Production is currently stalled because the factory fitted safety goggles with woke lenses and all the employees suffered nervous breakdowns.