I’ve been writing a book.
It explains my theory that comedy makes relationships better.
Writing a book is hard work.
As I finished one of the chapters, I had this thought:
What if nobody is interested in this?
I’d hate to write an entire book that nobody wants to read.
So I decided to post an excerpt from the book.
This is a little piece of comedy theory:
If you’ve ever played around with a magnet, one of the first things you’ll notice is that it doesn’t work with everything. Magnets don’t work with plastic or glass. They only work with metal but only certain kinds of metal. When I was a kid, this disappointed me. I wanted magnets to be all power forces of attraction. I still kind of wish that was the case. It would be fun to point magnets at squirrels and pull them out of trees. Imagine how easy babysitting would be if children were magnetic. Sadly, magnets don’t work on everything. Magnets only work on certain things. That’s just the way it is.
Comedy is like magnetism. It only works under certain conditions. In the same way that magnets won’t stick to glass, comedy won’t stick to everything in your life. Comedy has very specific requirements. Magnets only work with metal. Comedy only works with pain.
Yep. Trust me, I’m a professional. When life is good you’re content, happy – and boring. You can’t even start a conversation!
Me: “How’s it going?”
You: “Life is good!”
Me: “Great!”
And that’s it. We’re done talking about you. Fortunately, I have some pain in my life to keep the conversation going.
Me: “I got bit by an ostrich.”
You: “Wow! Give me details!”
See? My pain formed the basis for our conversation. Your great life gave us nothing to talk about. The immutable laws of nature require comedy coexist with pain. These two things are inseparable. Pain is to comedy what metal is to magnets. There are different kinds of magnetic metal and there are different kinds of comedic pain.
From a comedy point of view, pain includes more than physical injury. Cut fingers and stubbed toes create pain. But “pain” is a gigantic concept. It includes things like; humiliation, fear, failure, confusion, disappointment, regret, depression, rejection, loneliness, sadness…and relationships.
Let’s boil it down to a single, easy to remember phrase:
“You can’t be funny unless something is going wrong.”
Don’t argue with me. I don’t make the rules. If you don’t like it, take your complaint to God. Maybe you can convince Him to change the laws of comedy. But I doubt it. You might as well ask him to change the laws of magnetic attraction. There are better ways to spend your time.
Spend time looking for the pain in your life. Then you can quit whining about it and start laughing about it.
There’s a reason pain is connected to comedy. You’re supposed to use comedy to deal with it. Comedy is a weapon.
The book is written as a conversation between me and you.
There are exercises throughout the book that will help you weaponize laughter.
Laughter makes relationships better.
That’s the theory behind this book.
Do you want to read it?
26 Responses
Good stuff. I would read it.
God said laughter and a merry heart is like a medicine so I think your theory is sound.
Sure I would check it out of the library and read it!
What if you found it at a garage sale for a nickel?
Definitely would read it.
Sounds like a good book. Have not heard anyone describe comedy that way in a long time. When I was a teen I read “Stranger in a Strange Land” by Robert Heinlein. Odd book, even for science fiction. The best part had nothing to do with science fiction. He described the requirement for humor. Someone has to serve as the butt for the joke. No misfortune to laugh at, no humor. That is the point you just made. Given your profession, you ought to know.
When I thought about it further, I realized the difference between ridicule and sharing someone else’s pain. When we ridicule someone, we laugh at them. When we share another’s pain, we laugh with them.
There is a subtle difference between ridicule and satire. Satire is not necessarily as meanspirited as ridicule. When appropriate, satire is making a joke out of hateful behavior. A example of this is “A Modest Proposal” by Jonathan Swift. Undoubtedly, Swift outraged many people, shamed some, and amused many others.
I would read it, and I bet I would even learn something from it if it simply fell off the shelf and bonked me in the head.
Yes!!
I want one!!
That excerpt is so profound. My favorite part is the ostrich!
I would read that book and reread it the same day it’s so good!
I can’t think of many books that take such a practical but also philosophical look on life/laughter like your book would. I think your blogposts are very unique in that you combine apologetics with in-your-face humor.
For your book, If you incorporated scripture or also examples of how laughter has helped notable people in history (eg. John and Abigail Adams’ letters to one another) it would be even more amazing!
I would buy—and read—your book if only to highlight this line: “Spend time looking for the pain in your life. Then you can quit whining about it and start laughing about it.”
I fell off a roof last week. (Waiting for laughter to subside). While I was in the hospital, I actually met the granddaughter of one of Aretha Franklin’s backup singers.
“That’s her right there, the heavy one. On the right,” she said as she pointed at the TV.
No pain, I never meet this fascinating person. And I made her laugh ( though I couldn’t laugh with her…broken ribs from the fall.)
Oh, yeah, I will definitely read your book.
Dear Randy,
I hope you heal quickly! I’m certain your shift from pain in isolation, to making someone laugh, lessens your pain and accelerates your own healing.
Talking about the hospital… I was in the waiting room with my very nervous husband before his colonoscopy. All of a sudden, gears shifted and I started telling him jokes (while maintaining a straight face). It was so wonderful watching humor disarm fear.
Not only did he end up roaring in laughter, but the rest of the crowd, wanting similar relief, eavesdropped and ended up in pee-your-pants laughter, as well.
I cannot claim originality. (One day each week, I had to drive 3 hours to a city for medical care. I bought a bunch of humor CDs to make the drive easier, and set me in a good headspace for the pain ahead. After listening to them for all those long drive time hours, jokes and funny stories were embedded in me, and I could deliver them with the same comedic timing as the professionals I learned from.)
I grew up as a fan of anything funny, later applying it to serious medical issues. Norman Cousins (“Anatomy of an Illness” was a powerful book for me. The movie, made from his book, is still on YouTube for free), and later Patch Adams.
I have greatly enjoyed John’s work, watching his YouTube shorts to help me cope with pain. I choose laughter instead of prescription pain meds. I think that, and prayer, are God’s prescriptions for His kids.
❤️😊Katy
Katy, how amazingly kind of you to take the time to send this note. I, too, marvel at the healing ability of a little bit of humor in a tough situation.
The doctor stitching up a hole to the right of my eye said, “I’m glad you have your eyes closed…I do , too.” I liked him a lot. (He did a fantastic job, though. I don’t think he really had his eyes closed. )
Thank you for your kind words.
Dear Randy,
You are a treasure; in your note, your intelligent and interesting comments here, in your faith…
Your doctor’s comment makes me laugh! Too funny!
Your eye itself is safe? You can see? What a miracle for your eyesight to be spared! I’m so thankful you had such a good, and funny doctor!
Your face being sewn up is reminding me about the scene in the movie Jaws, where Robert Shaw and Richard Dreyfus are comparing scars. Now you have another story to tell.
Did you have a concussion? If you struck your head, and you notice any difficulties from it, you might want to read “The Ghost in My Brain” by Clark Elliott, Ph.D. (Website: clarkelliott.com ).
I wish you very good, blessed and rapid healing, and will keep you in my prayers. If it’s not part of your work, I also hope you send other people up on the roof (with harnesses) and keep your feet firmly planted on Terra firma from now on.
🙏🏻😊🙏🏻
Dear Randy,
You’ve probably already seen this one, but your falling off a roof reminds me of this accident report:
(Only read if you’re able to gently laugh, now 😄)
The Bricklayer’s Accident Report:
http://www.physics.smu.edu/scalise/www/misc/bricks.html
🙏🏻😊
I had seen this before, but it still makes me laugh.
Well, if I’m gonna work, there are ladders involved. No concussion, no eye damage, all injuries to the right side only. Thank you for brightening my day.
http://randyepps.blog
Wow! Randy, your post today is beautiful!
Thank you for your link – I’m really looking forward to exploring your blog.
Awed,
😊🙏Katy
If you can teach me to weaponize comedy, I will totally buy a copy of that.
I can’t promise that I will only use it for good, but I do want to read it.
If Paul were a comedian, the scripture would be: “Rejoice with those who rejoice. Weep with those who weep…and then make them laugh,.”
Keep writing, John!
I can’t wait to read your book, and the ones you write after this one.
(From a kindred spirit who uses laughter to joust with, and subdue, intense pain.)
❤️🙏Katy
I will definitely read your book! Mainly because I like you and I think you are cute! Also very funny!
I would read it. You seem to have good observations about other areas in life, and I’m curious to know what you think about comedy and relationships.
Please thank Amanda for me, for making that awesome podcast.
I heard someone say tha comedy is tragedy plus distance. I like the bit about comedy fighting pain. Your analogies are the best too.
I would read it. The small portion you shared today seems so counter intuitive and yet I think you are completely right.
“You can’t be funny unless something is going wrong.” I tried to think of any specific scenarios where your theorem could prove false … but so far, I’ve got nothing. I did observe that in most cases (except the ostrich), the something that is going wrong is usually someone else’s something. 😉
Anyway, long story short: yes, I’d read it! And I’m sure that it would look great on my shelf next to another literary classic that I possess, “A Triune Tale of Diminutive Swine”.