photo of blue and orange abstract painting

I remember when the experts told me that I needed to stay home so that I wouldn’t catch a potentially lethal virus. The experts who were concerned only with my health and safety, told me that we’re all in this together and that if I just locked myself away from everyone else for a little while then the virus would be contained.

I remember that almost everybody on Earth caught the virus anyway so the experts told me to wear a mask which is like slamming a door shut after the cat runs out of the house but what do I know? I’m not an expert.

Then I remember the experts told me I needed to get vaccinated so that everyone could return to normal life. The experts, who only cared about my health and safety, told me I was selfish and somewhat murderous for being suspicious of their magical potion. The experts were greatly offended by my use of the word ‘magic’ and insisted I say, ‘science.’

I remember millions of people took the advice of experts and injected the Wizard’s Liquid into their bodies. Amazingly, these people didn’t mind when experts told them to keep wearing a mask. There were really, really, really, really angry with me for not wearing mine though. According to the experts, I was putting them in danger.

And I remember when people started catching the virus despite multiple injections of magic potions that the experts had sworn would keep them safe (and healthy). They insisted that the potion was never intended to prevent the spread of infection and the same people who lived in quarantine and faithfully wore their masks believed them. Because those people are gullible.

To those who called me ‘evil’ and hoped to watch me suffer for my insolence, you were wrong. I mean, you were wrong about EVERYTHING. Your protocols didn’t keep anyone from getting sick. Most of the sick people survived. And true heroes don’t wish death on someone because they disagree about how to treat the flu.

Today would be a good day to do some introspection. Think about all the awful, hurtful things you said to people over the past few years because you believed the experts. Think about all the angry words you spoke out of ignorance. Your unquestioning trust in ‘the experts’ did real damage to people you profess to love. Your relationships are unhealthy and wearing a mask or injecting a potion won’t help.

(James 5:16) “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.”

Christian Comedy for Hire

If you like my blog even a little bit, then you should know I do Christian Comedy live shows! It’s all the faith and fun you read here, but on stage, it’s even more hilarious. Hire me for your next corporate bash, church event, or school function, and let’s make it a night of laughs with my unique brand of Christian Comedy!

three little pigs

Three Little Pigs

Three Little Pigs in Shakespeare is available as a children’s book. Get the illustrated story based on my viral comedy routine from Amazon.  Makes a great gift for the word-lovers in your life. 

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3 Responses

  1. I’m up scratching my skin. I didn’t have this before my injections but now I do. Also I’m so tired. More than I’ve ever been. Yes I caught the virus. It was like a cold. But the effects are disturbing.

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