Gather round kids! Let me tell you about the merry king of the gods whose name is, ‘Zeus.’ He lives way up on top of Mount Olympus and he is watching to see if you’re being naughty or nice. When he is angry, he throws lightning bolts. When he is happy, he loads up his sleigh with toys and delivers them to your house on Christmas Eve!

Maybe your parents told you that Santa Claus brings your presents on Christmas. That’s just not true. My comment about Zeus isn’t true either but so what? It doesn’t matter which lie you believe. One falsehood is just as good as another!

“John, you jerk! Are you going to lecture me about Santa Claus again? You do this every year! It’s harmless fun that adds to the magic of Christmas!”

Well…I would happily agree with you if your kids were thoughtful young Christians. If your kids endured years of ‘harmless’ deception and emerged from childhood with a robust faith in Jesus, you could make the case for Santa Claus. But your kids are overdosing on drugs and abusing alcohol and getting pregnant and painting their lips black and decorating with skulls. Your kids don’t know if they are girls or boys. Your kids are not okay and I think, maybe, perhaps, there’s at least a tiny chance that your parenting had an impact on them.

Where did you get the idea that lying to kids about Santa Claus is just harmless fun? It didn’t come from the Bible. It came from the other people who also lie to their kids, right? You’re taking advice from parents with messed up kids and pretending that messed up kids are a random occurrence of nature.

I’ve lost count of how many foolish pagans have lectured me about how believing in God is no different from believing in Santa Claus. They’re completely serious about it too.

LET ME REPEAT — The pagans sincerely think that believing in Santa Claus is just like believing in God. This is what can happen when you lie to children. When you deceive them about the ‘magic of Christmas,’ why would they trust you to tell them about your ‘awesome God?’

“John, you jerk! You’re overreacting! I don’t think telling kids the Santa fable will ruin them for life!!!”

(Matthew 18:3) “And whoever welcomes a little child like this in my name welcomes me. But if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a large millstone hung around his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea.”