During a recent press conference, Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg answered a question the godless hordes have been asking for a long time: “Will we be able to use Facebook in Hell?”

“Absolutely yes,” Zuckerberg answered. “We know social media is a crucial tool for spreading hate and are committed to providing our most depraved users a platform for their despicable blather.”

Virtue signaling activists have voiced concern about the possibility that death would make it impossible to continue propagating evil. They worry that without internet access, eternal torment will be unbearable.

Facebook users who are fearful that the afterlife will not contain the same despair that they’re used to experiencing, should take heart. Mark Zuckerberg has some assurances. “Facebook is perfect for wailing and gnashing your teeth. Our services have enabled wickedness in this life and we plan to keep doing it in the next.”

I sent a private message to St. Peter on Facebook and asked if social media would be available in Heaven.

He responded, 😂😂😂

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Three Little Pigs

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6 Responses

  1. Good one! Facebook, Instagram & Twitter, to me, have outlived their redeeming value. Like Tabby, I gave up such platforms for Lent this year & haven’t missed them.

  2. Excellent, you know, I was so worried about this…said no Christian ever!!!!

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