A few thoughts for a Pastor who seems to believe it is the responsibility of the church to make him feel good. His name is Jon Koloff and the blog article is found here: https://jonkoloff.com/2019/09/16/why-i-left-my-dream-job-and-the-church-too/
I went to bible college. I got ordained. I became a pastor just like I was supposed to. Eventually, I ended up with what I thought was my dream job. I was a worship pastor at a church of almost 2,000. I had made it. This is all I thought I had ever wanted. I had no doubt that I would be in ministry for the rest of my life.
And now it turns out you’re leaving the church, right? The dream job didn’t make you euphoric for the rest of your life?
I think the simplest explanation is that, for the first time in my life, I decided to put myself first. I decided that if my mental health was ever going to improve, if I was ever going to be truly happy, I had to leave. I finally decided that my well being was more important than staying in a job and in a belief system that was sucking the life out of me just so that I wouldn’t let others down.
So I left. I left my church, and at least for now, the church as a whole.
So that’s a “yes” to leaving the church. Let me be the first to say, I’m thrilled! This is great news. The last thing the church needs is someone standing up front on Sunday morning proclaiming Christianity to be a belief system that sucks the life out of you. Even worse is someone like you pretending to be a Christian for the sake of a paycheck, vanity, or both.
I’ll hold the door open for you.
My relationship with the church is a messy one, in large part, because I’m gay. I’ve been taught my entire life that my sexuality is a sin.
Yes. I’m not gay but I was taught the same thing. My sin didn’t confine itself to my sexuality but seeped out into all the other aspects of my life. The church taught me that there are no righteous people. We’re all sinners. Did you think being gay makes you special? Yowza! Guess your Bible College degree was a bust. No doubt that’s the college’s fault. You should sue them.
Okay, good-bye!
I’ve spent most of my life angry with God. I was ashamed of who I was. I thought that I was a mistake. Because of my sexuality, I was forced to be celibate. It made me jealous, bitter, and angry.
Um. I thought you said you were leaving?
To be honest, I’m angry with the church. Because of what it has done to my mental health. Because it was my years in the church that led to my struggles with depression, anxiety, and self-harm.
Right. It’s all our fault. Get away from us as quickly as possible! Off you go!
Because little queer kids like me want to kill themselves.
That’s not the church’s fault. Sin leads to death. The gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus. Surely you heard this at some point during your many years as worship minister. You sang songs about this, remember? The more you talk, the more encouraged I am to hear that you’re not in leadership anymore.
Be well!
Because I watch so many Christians checking their morals at the door in order to support a conservative of any kind, even if they’re racist, misogynistic, and locking kids in cages.
Right. I get it. You can’t stand hypocrisy. You’re going to find a place where people don’t support locking kids in cages. Wherever you end up, check to make sure the worship pastor isn’t a shallow hypocrite without any substance.
Bye!
If you’re reading this and having a hard time with it, I just ask that you be open to other voices.
*sigh*
Before you go, I just ask that you be open to other voices too. Maybe listen for a voice that suggests Christianity isn’t about you and your sexual struggles. Christianity is about truth. The truth is, your sin will destroy you unless you hand it over to God. Jesus hung on the cross for the sin of homosexuality. Being “angry with the church” for making you feel the weight of sin is outrageously childish. Those voices are trying to tell you how to get rid of that weight.
Are you done? I’ve got stuff to do…
I plan to keep writing about my journey away from the church. I don’t know where I’m going, so for now all I know is what I’m leaving. I’d love for you to keep reading with me.
No. I’m not interested in watching you aimlessly try to figure out what to believe. What you’re calling “a journey”, I call “being lost”. I’d offer to shine a light but that will only upset you. Let me make this as clear as I possibly can – YOU HAVE NOTHING TO OFFER WITHOUT CHRIST. Apostates are a dime a dozen and free on weekends.
Now, finally, without anymore of your useless blather, shove off.
Christians have responded negatively in vast numbers to this post. I’ve written a response here.
130 Responses
You’re all exhausting. Worry about yourselves. Why is Jon, and all of you worried about others? Quit worrying about what others think about you and focus internally. All these posts are centered about getting others to agree or disagree with you. STOP. get a real person in real time and talk. God help us.
Thank you for not trying to get anyone to agree/disagree with you…
The good news is: it’s working.
Mrs. McMommu wrote:
“I always call my dad by his full name when I’m going business related stuff. I’m his agent.
Thanks for your “concern.”
Can you give me the number of your therapist?”
Wait, so you’re the blog admin AND his agent? That explains so much. I believe you were being sarcastic in your response about therapy, but on the off chance you were being sincere – I don’t live in Indiana, or I’d be happy to send you the numbers of a few great therapists. I’d recommend asking around and googling to try and find the best fit. While there’s part of me that’s reading your comments in astonishment (which I’d guess is the idea – as long as people are clicking and engaging, it’s working. But man, gain the whole world but lose your soul, you know?), I truly am concerned about your mental health and lack of self-awareness.
No. You’re not.
I have no interest in trying to convince you whether I am or not. I’m more interested in continuing to urge you to seek long-term therapy.
But people won’t care how much you know unless they know how much you care. You sound insincere, which makes you an emotional bully.
Please stop harassing me.
You know how I feel about anonymous cowards. The only reason this is continuing is because YOU won’t let me boot insipid trolls.
Yes, if it weren’t for the fact that I’m one of the administrators here, most of these comments would have been deleted by you. 🙂
But I believe that people should be allowed to speak so everyone can see what’s in their hearts.
It’s a very good thing no one has NAMED the church where they’re learning that showing fake “concern” gives them the right to suggest therapy to a stranger and be taken seriously… I think they’d see a drop in attendance.
Last I checked, I’m the only one who has actually admitted to being a tool, right?
Yep.
The only one who has apologized genuinely, too.
The Fallen Pastor shared your first post in order to send a mob to your door. I’m wondering if he’ll share your apology?
God works in mysterious ways…
Uh oh. Careful with something that sounds like sarcasm! Jesus wouldn’t use sarcasm!
“How do you know me?” Nathanael asked.
Jesus answered, “I saw you while you were still under the fig tree before Philip called you.”
Then Nathanael declared, “Rabbi, you are the Son of God; you are the king of Israel.”
Jesus said, “You believebecause I told you I saw you under the fig tree. You will see greater things than that.”
…Jesus was a master of sarcasm.
I know you want me to ask how that counts as sarcasm, but I’m going to be blunt and honest: I’m not that interested.
🙂
I respect that so much!
What are you even talking about? People won’t know how much you care, and I’m an emotional bully because I sound insincere? I’ll stop commenting, I am concerned that you’re feeling upset by what I’m saying and that’s not my intention. Given how YOU’VE chosen to respond to several comments, I have a hard time believing your sincerity, but it’s whatever – life your life the way you see fit.
You should probably seek long term therapy. I’m concerned.
Truth is harsh, hard, and sometimes hurts…this is truth
This is sad and creates distance between us all.
Wow.
You are already forgiven mrsmcmommy.
That’s awesome!
Can I be preemptively forgiven for future incidents where I tell prideful, unrepentant sex-addicts that they shouldn’t be church leaders, too? 🙂
Your father is forgiven too Mrsmcmommy.
Uh…that’s not what I asked, God… If you’re busy on the toilet, I’ll come back and ask again later…
Come back, again, as many times as you need to CHILD. I’ll always be here.
Thanks, Big Man. 🙂 It’s comforting to know you’re always available to not answer me.
Again, you are already forgiven Mrsmcmommy. You need not ask again CHILD.
29Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. 30And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.
You feel better after letting all that nonsense out?
I don’t. I feel terrible. I spent last night grieving over my foolishness. So many Christians have told me how wrong it was to write such nonsense. I’m crushed. I want to die.
I don’t think anyone here wants you to die. You could totally take down your post, though.
Damage is done. It can’t be undone. Best thing is to remove my toxic self from the scene. I’m a lousy, lousy person. Totally deserve everyone’s resentment.
There’s literally a delete button. It can absolutely be undone.
It’s ok, I have to help my dad operate the computer from time to time. Maybe your daughter can help you delete it?
Right. It’s all our fault. Get away from us as quickly as possible! Off you go!
Exactly! You get it!
Congratulations! 🙂
I’d like to apologize, that was an incredibly rude and disrespectful thing to say to anyone no matter the situation. I feel horrible for my hurtful reply to someone who is sincerely grieving and crushed.
Are you saying this because you read John’s open letter to himself? (The newest blog post?) I’m just wondering how you were able to see that he really is grieving and crushed, when so many people still want to judge his intentions poorly?
I’m simply apologizing for my hurtful words to your father. There was absolutely to reason to say such things to anyone no matter how much I disagree with them.
I appreciate your humility, Duane. That’s really big of you.
Mrsmcmommy you have got to go. S t o p, and i mean PLEASE stop plugging your God forsaken blog. This is not about you, Cheryl. Your name is definitely Cheryl.
Was there something specific I said that you disagreed with?
So I guess I question the reason for this post. Is it an attempt to shake Jon back into the “truth” that his sin is killing him? Or, is it to feed the “true” Christians who read your blog and will feel better about their status and their position with God by condemning someone else who is sinning worse than they are? I’m hoping it was the latter because if your attempt was to get Jon to wake up and come back to God, you “truly” failed. I get that you and your daughter say you are doing your best to fight for the “truth” of Gods word and not enable sin in the church, but in doing so your are failing to see your own sin in the approach. Who are you trying to save here? I just don’t see a meaningful reason for this post other than to pacify the small crowd of “true” believers that read you regularly. There is no message here. No lesson to learn from. And definitely nothing that would bring any non believer to Christ. I hope your regulars had their ear tickled and feel much better about their “true” faith and Godly lifestyle. You can all go to sleep tonight feeling better about yourselves because your “truth” is better than Jon’s. I know your act all too well my friend. Feel free to stand for the “truth” and proclaim it, but your “truth” completely lacks love. And I believe the word of God lists a bunch of virtues that a Christian should possess and at the end of the list is reiterates the “truth”, the greatest of these is love. There is absolutely no reason for this blog, it does nothing but cause controversy to achieve attention for yourself. I pray you find “true” meaning for your mission my friend.
I am a Christian pastor serving the Church for the last 12 years. In that time I’ve loved people who were not like me, who I completely disagreed with. And because I live with the understanding that Christ died for the brokeness of all humanity, I serve with joy, as hard as it is sometimes. I also served Jon as he was being called to be honest with himself, others and his God about who he was. I am also a female pastor who has a female wife, who is also a pastor. There is no “sin of homosexuality” in the eyes of Jesus. Anything that separates us from God is a sin. Attacking someone you don’t know and claiming to be doing it in a loving way, is a sin. I don’t agree with you, and you, likely don’t agree with me. I am discouraged by the behavior that belittles another and ask, whom you may asor may not know, a Christian sister, that you search for the love of Christ in others, in the way Christ intends. Not you. I struggle with that who issue every day, as do most people. We are called to humility and safe presence. Not the pulling apart of another’s testimony. Christ calls us to love, especially when we don’t understand.
“Anything that separates us from God is a sin.”
Can you think of anything specifically that would qualify as sin?
Is everything that separates us from God a sin?
Yes… everything that is not righteous and holy and and wise and good separates us from the presence of the Father.
But what about…
E V E R Y T H I N G!
You want me to name sins? The Bible does that enough. But does Jesus? No. Jesus loves the unlovable, raised up the poor and screamed at those who thought they were righteous judges.
God enabled me to find deep spiritual love in a relationship I didn’t understand and didn’t expect. I am sure others have had that experience too. And, yes, Christ calls us especially to love that which we don’t understand.
Yes, I believe in speaking truths with love, even when hard. Ask anyone I know and they will tell you I do not shy from that. But picking apart another’s letter in a public forum is not a gentle correction.
I do not want to let this fruitful conversation (thank you!) To be one of judgment on either side. I actually think there are some points where we agree.
As far as quoting scripture, I could do that. I could quote the 7 scriptures that many perceive to be negative towards same gender expressions of love, or the over 600 admonitions for inappropriate behaviors in heterosexual relationship, but that wouldn’t get us anywhere.
I guess the first that comes to mind is “and now we see through a mirror dimly…” It is not for us to judge God’s love because for us it is never clear.
“It is not for us to judge God’s love because for us it is never clear.”
Jesus replied, “Anyone who loves me will obey my teaching. My Father will love them, and we will come to them and make our home with them. Anyone who does not love me will not obey my teaching. These words you hear are not my own; they belong to the Father who sent me.
John 14:22-23
So those who love God will obey my teaching….. Jesus teaches love, not a lot else. He didn’t flow all the rules in the way that was expected in the day, but followed his own rules of love.
“If you think her comments on THIS post are infuriating, you should go to the most recent post and read her gaslighting, victim-minded hate spewed after being called out about her “activist” gossip.”
I’m glad you asked the readers to read through the threads of comments. I did just that, and your lack of self-awareness (here, in other comments, and on your blog) is astonishing. At first I thought it was a persona you put on, like a Christian shock jock, just trying to drive traffic to your blog. Then I read more carefully, and yeah, you’re just trying to drive traffic to your blog, desperately clawing at any kind of relevance. Your ability to argue nonsense is incredible, and your insistence on posting your links and calling your dad by his full name is strange. With sincere intentions of care, I’d urge you to seek long-term therapy. Of course, it’s your life, you can do what you want, it’s just…hard to watch.
I always call my dad by his full name when I’m going business related stuff. I’m his agent.
Thanks for your “concern.”
Can you give me the number of your therapist?
I’m sorry “RevBacon”, but your reply is so infuriating I could scream. So you had a homosexual experience and liked it? That is the hallmark of sin: we are tempted (although a way out is always provided, so we have no excuse). Sin appeals to our fallen nature, and we reach for the attractively-packaged lethal poison. You grabbed it, and now want to excuse yourself and embrace it, and use your “authority” as a reverend to try to pull others down with you?
Homosexuality is clearly described as a sin and abomination, and the penalty in the Old Testament was death. It still is, although not by public execution, but it results in a dead conscience and soul death, and loss of Heaven. In the New Testament, the warnings about homosexuality are also clear, or are you avoiding much of scripture? How can you be a genuine “Reverend” if you chose to cherry-pick scripture and stay blind to the clear warnings against what you embrace? You are deceived, and you are acting as a deceiver to your fellow humans.
The Divine Wrath destroying Sodom and Gomorrah is not a myth. The cities were discovered by archeologists, and they contain the purest form of brimstone (Sulfur with Magnesium) in balls that burn extraordinarily hot. These cities were burned stronger than any natural disaster. Pompeii was preserved. Unlike volcanos, the brimstone that set the cities on fire burned even hotter, even to the point of incinerating limestone buildings into calcium sulphate ash.
When I was much younger, I believed the stupid Church of Nice. I innocently trusted a homosexual, and was set up into a trafficked situation and suffered horribly with repeated gang rapes. My body is damaged and I suffer and bleed every day, and have for decades.
I have an inkling as to why God detests this sin. I know homosexuals in society, and while I still have to take my hatred of those who harmed me to the foot of the cross everyday, I still grieve that they will be lost, and am angry with the whole sexually-perverted crowd trying to make more followers twisted like them. They call one of the most evil sins good. If you think homosexuality is a positive form of love, you truly do not know what genuine love is. I’m sorry for you, and hope you will convert while there is still time.
I will not respond to any homosexual, pedophile, trans, etc…replies to my post, excusing themselves, and telling me I have to accept their perversion. I’m too angry with how they have harmed not just me, but countless thousands of innocents. I will not retaliate, vengeance is God’s work. Your only hope is Christ.
John, you do good work. I’m amazed at your skills and fortitude. Thank you!
If you think her comments on THIS post are infuriating, you should go to the most recent post and read her gaslighting, victim-minded hate spewed after being called out about her “activist” gossip.
Oy.
I can’t stand people who set out to ruin other people, and still try to take the high road.
Oy is right!
The vitriol spewed by the members and leaders of the Church of Nice is rather hypocritical. It’s like the blindsiding volleys of hatred and intolerance from the crowd who demands tolerance from Christians (the ones who actually read scripture and believe what the Bible teaches).. The Tolerance/Love Demanding Crowd is oddly one of the most intolerant, hateful, rude, arrogant bunch in existence today.
I see the crazy-making gaslighting, so typical of abusive, manipulative people.
Is your Dad truly feeling what the picture and words are saying? I hope not – he shouldn’t feel bad at all for what he said, nor how he said it. What your Dad is doing is far more loving than the mealy- mouthed be nice crowd who will gladly let people sin to their destruction and death.
I hope he can find laughter today, time with you all, time out in nature…
We’re going to have a family conversation tomorrow for therapeutic purposes. I think he HAS been worn down by all of this unjust criticism, and prayers for wisdom and clarity of thought are much appreciated.
You’ve all been in my concerned thoughts and prayers much of the day. Thank you for letting me know, and I’m joining you in dedicated prayer. You are also welcome to send emails (you’ve got my private email in these posts), for anything you’d prefer off-blog.
Going into focused, intensive prayer now, in Jesus Christ’s holy name…
Let me ask you a question. As you wrote this, in my opinion, horrible blog, did you picture the Lord sitting by your side as you wrote it? Did you ask Him if He would approve of your tone and attitude before you clicked send? Did you ask Him if this was His will or your own? Nothing spiritual or from the Holy Spirit came from your words. It came from the flesh. Sorry. But I’m sure the Bible is clear on this: Jesus doesn’t appreciate a smart elleck. You took something powerful, Jon’s words, and used them for your own selfish reasons and yet you want us to believe your more Christ like than he is. I’ll end by saying this: it’s easy to be a keyboard warrior and hide behind a computer.
I didn’t suggest that I was more Christ-like than anybody.
I agree with your final comment 100%.
“Nothing spiritual or from the Holy Spirit came from your words.” –Shane, speaking with God’s permission.
Wow.
Is it true that God calls us to humility and ‘safe presence?’ Is it true that Christ calls on us to love… especially when we don’t understand what we are loving?
From where do we receive “understanding?” From whom are we to receive knowledge and the revelation of truth?
Fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge (and wisdom.) Without God we can know nothing for certain.
If we are always listening to the expressed feelings, desires, opinions, and knowledge claims of men that aren’t supported by God’s revelation through the Holy Spirit, then we aren’t likely walking in the Spirit of Truth.
When you wrote: “Attacking someone you don’t know and claiming to be doing it in a loving way, is a sin,” I can fairly confidently say that is not true. IF you are a brother or sister in Christ (Christ is in you) then you can gently but firmly (in a loving way) correct me by citing scripture that supports your statement.
I’m confident that wouldn’t be a sin. 🙂
I reiterate the first part of my PS to the original author’s post: “As we all know, it’s very easy to get into arguments etc. in forums, social media, etc. with very little productive conversation.”
John B, sometimes it goes beyond what you say (though I don’t agree with all you said), but HOW you say it. I don’t think this is at all helpful. Disappointed.
You clearly are NOT a Christian! You write something about someone like this and proclaim to be a Christian and worshipper of Christ?!! WRONG! You are one of the many reasons why people don’t like Christians. You are judge mental in every way and it’s disgusting! And…the fact that you called him out by name? Who are you? I’m appalled that you have behaved this way and will NEVER watch or read anything of yours ever again! You’re a disgrace to the Christian world!
To your wife who Is commenting on everyone’s post trying to defend you..get a life no one cares about your opinion either!
Sincerely a worship pastors wife 🙂
I’m not his wife. I am his daughter.
And, it is because my dad loves me enough to deal with HARD TRUTHS that I did not commit suicide six years ago. People like YOU were blowing sunshine up my skirt, and they thought they were helping.
If I had come to your church, I would be dead.
You would have loved me right to my grave.
https://culturesatwar.wordpress.com/2019/09/19/sometimes-you-have-to-make-people-mad/
Well you clearly don’t know mr and I would NEVER behave that way!0
Oh, I forgot the smiley face. 🙂 Sincerely, a woman who isn’t defined by her husband’s career
I am not defined by my husbands career but I’m proud to be his wife! How dare you? I have my own career thank you and it’s not commenting on people’s comments all day defending your so called Christian father!
Have a great night!
☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️
I am saddened to see you mock someone going through such a hard struggle. So sad to see a pastor talking so poorly to someone going through it. When this man lead worship you could feel his genuine heart. He has more heart then most people you meet. No sin is greater then the other, so if you believe he should leave the church then maybe you should to. I will pray for you, and pray you learn to love people.
He said he was leaving. I didn’t tell him to leave.
I don’t think I’ll leave the church because, as I said in the article, the solution to sin is Jesus.
The solution is NOT what you (and dozens of others) are doing. So sad to see Christians scolding a pastor for telling the truth about sin destroying people. Say a prayer for yourself too.
You’re a tool, but hey, at least you’re getting the attention you wanted, right?
Wow. You actually created an email address for that?
“Johnisatool@gmail.com”
I genuinely thank you for the laugh. 😀
LOL! I would have picked that as my email address if it wasn’t taken.
Exactly why everyone is calling you out? I can’t even believe
That you are a Christian? Wonder what God would think of your actions??
You don’t actually have to make the email address you sign your post with… 🤦🏻♂️
This is sickening. How dare you mock someone else’s struggle. Have some compassion for a hurting person, reach out and ask questions, ask what it’s like to be him. But don’t do this. It’s completely against everything Jesus has ever asked of us.
I’m struggling myself today, Kelsey. Lots of people telling me Jesus isn’t happy with me. I thought Jesus loved everyone. Turns out, he only loves people who are insecure in their faith.
Thanks for your comment.
Jesus loves meekness and humility of spirit, John. Is that what you displayed in your post?
I’m not looking to fight here but am wondering if you attempted to contact Jon and have a conversation with him before this post? Seems to me the approach of seeking to reconcile with your brother before blasting him publicly could have been a more fruitful and less divisive approach.
Chris– if all the false teachers post their lies publicly, and all the good Christians can only try to talk to them personally, then what happens to all the sheep being led astray by the false teachers?
If you write a blog post and invite people on your journey, then others have the right to talk about it. Public claims, public discussion.
Here’s something I wrote on my public blog about all of this, and anyone who reads it may respond however they see fit. 🙂
https://culturesatwar.wordpress.com/2019/09/19/sometimes-you-have-to-make-people-mad/
I don’t know Jon personally. That’s an advantage, not a disadvantage. My sentiments are not personal. They are based solely on doctrine. If anything I said is misguided or incorrect, I’m open to discussing it.
“My sentiments are not personal. They are based solely on doctrine.“
So glad you said this yourself. This is literally EXACTLY the thing that jesus’ teaching was fighting against. The Jewish leaders at that point in history were completely preoccupied with upholding lawful doctrine and not with pursuing personal ministry. You think it’s an advantage to be disconnected from the people you’re sounding off at? 🤦🏻♂️🤦🏻♂️🤦🏻♂️
Hey–BM–it’s okay for us to disagree about how to discuss Theology online. I just ask that you practice what you preach.
You’re expecting John Branyan to uphold your lawful doctrine about “loving people” and “humility” and, here’s the facepalm: YOU DON’T KNOW HIM IN REAL LIFE. You went to a stranger on the internet and called him a tool because he won’t follow your Niceness Rules.
John Branyan believes that doctrine matters and that we can call out bad teaching wherever we find it. He doesn’t have a problem with someone calling out HIS bad teaching, if they’re able to be specific. But you are the one saying that it’s wrong, unless you have a personal relationship. You are the one being a Pharisee and failing to apply your own laws TO YOURSELF.
I’m really trying to be as loving and kind as possible, because I know how much Pharisees hate to be contradicted. But do you understand that you’re not practicing what you preach?
Wonder why people are leaving the church in droves? The words in this article. Nothing but pure hate. NOT the words and heart of Jesus. Not even close. Pharisees so concerned about their law, and no concern or compassion for the people. I pray you discover the real Jesus and not this hate filled, no grace allowed, stone throwing, apathetic version that you seem to be operating from.
Ephesians 4:5 – “Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of Him who is the head, that is, Christ”
Mark 6:34 – When Jesus landed and saw a large crowd, he had compassion on them, because they were like sheep without a shepherd. So he began teaching them many things.”
I Corinthians 13:1-3 – “If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.”
John 13:35 – “By this all will know that you are MY disciples, if you have LOVE for one another”
The words in this article are void of LOVE. And I expect the response to follow suit. Which will confirm even more whose disciple you clearly are.
Tim, what would you do if John Branyan confessed that he was struggling with depression and thinking of killing himself because of judgmental comments like yours? Don’t answer that. We all know what you’d do. You would apologize and fall all over yourself trying to “love” him back.
People only get love when they threaten to leave. No wonder they do it. Because, as long as they stay in the church, they are fair game for finger-wagging, like you’re doing here.
If you had the guts to hold people like Jon Koloff accountable the way you’re trying to hold this Bad Cop, John Branyan, then maybe I could take you seriously. Until then you’re an enabling hypocrite.
https://culturesatwar.wordpress.com/2019/09/19/sometimes-you-have-to-make-people-mad/
I have to agree. Seeing that he left the church and the blog post initially made, made me angry. Angry because as a divorced, mom of an out of wedlock baby, and sinner of more than I could count… how he feels the need to blame his mental health on a congregation is just asinine. All sins are measured the same. Welcome to being a Christian. It’s HARD. You have to do HARD things. Should I be ashamed of bringing my child into church? Am I less worth of healing and love because of my lifestyle? NO.
Our Pastor Ryan, had to stand up in a congregation full of people and explain how his marriage had failed and he was getting a divorce…. bawling with his heart on his sleeve. Do you think that was easy? Do you think he wanted to come out with that? Do you think he wanted the ridicule that comes with the “judgy judgy” Christians? And meeting with the church elders… do you have an empathy as he probabaly prayed he still had a job after that meeting because his wife left him?
Thank you for this post. May it be something he didn’t want to hear, it’s the truth. I won’t be “following” his “journey” out of the church.
This is such a great point. When I go to church, I’m held accountable for being impatient with my kids and being selfish and being judgemental. I am constantly being reminded that GOD LOVES ME TOO MUCH TO LET ME KEEP MY SINS, and so I have to keep giving them to Him.
It’s not fair that a person should be given MORE encouragement when they leave the church than when they stay. What’s the point of staying and feeling bad about ourselves, when we can just run away and blame other people for it? The only reason to come to church is if it’s TRUE that I’m a sinner, and that my sin will kill me. And Jon K’s sin will kill him, too, if no one warns him.
Speaking of Pastor Ryan, I would encourage you (Alexis) to consider what he said this past Sunday. Let our default be love. That doesn’t mean we can’t disagree or have different theological beliefs. It doesn’t mean that we have to follow his journey or read his blogs. But as followers of Jesus, we are called to love. The tone of this blog is not love. In no way does it communicate the heart of Jesus. In no way does it encourage Jon to press into Jesus despite his hurt.
Do you think it matters what people believe, Lindsey?
“The tone of this blog is not love.”
Did Ryan say that?
I’m curious, do you have any queer friends or loved ones? Why is Jon’s choice so important to you?
Jon’s choice is important to me because the church is the bride of Christ. Only the bride will spend eternity with God. I’m curious, why don’t you care that Jon’s leaving the faith?
So you’re concerned about not being with God for eternity? I think that concern doesn’t really match the tone of your letter. You seem pleased he is leaving his church.
I’m concerned about Jon’s faith in as much as it’s important to him. Eternity is between him and Jesus.
But to be fair, if you want him to be the bride of Christ he’s on the right track. Straight people aren’t known for drag culture. If Jon gets into that he’ll be more bridal than a lot of men in the church are.
To be clear, I’m please he’s leaving church LEADERSHIP. He has no business teaching people when he admits he “doesn’t know where he’s going”.
“Eternity is between him and Jesus.”
I’m not sure what that means.
That wasn’t clear. Your comments in your post refer to Jon leaving the church and not church leadership.
What I mean by eternity is between Jon and Jesus is that where he spends eternity is between them, according to Christian beliefs. Salvation comes from confession and acknowledging who Jesus is. It’s not something anyone else can bring about.
Just to make sure I got this all correct though you decided to criticize Jon’s blog post because you’re happy he is leaving church leadership because the church is the bride of Christ. Did I get that?
No. I’m happy he’s leaving church leadership because he doesn’t like the church.
Do you think Jesus approves of the things Jon said about the church? In your reading of the New Testament, do you get the idea being convicted of sins is tantamount to abuse?
I think the thread is getting too long for my phone to handle. The “reply” button is available on the latest comments.
So you’re upset with how Jon characterized the church? It seems like his comments about how church dogma have negatively affected his mental health were really important to you then.
In the beginning of your post you note that you aren’t gay, but that your sexuality doesn’t define you. I think is the crux of the disagreements. I’m guessing the you believe homosexuality is wrong because the Bible says so. Some people will argue that homosexuality is a grey area biblically. I asked if you had any queer friends or loved ones because in this discussion that point of reference is can be meaningful.
In the end, Jon is glad he isn’t in church leadership and you are glad he isn’t, right? So we should be on the same team here.
Douglas–the crux of the disagreement is not homosexuality. The disagreement is whether a person who says they “don’t know where they’re going” should still set themselves up as a leader and share their story.
https://culturesatwar.wordpress.com/2019/09/19/i-dont-know-where-im-going-follow-me/
Gay or not he is a brother in Christ so it’s nice to see this is the way you treat God’s children. Jesus didn’t condemn the worst around Him. His heart broke for those that persecuted Him. I don’t know what God you follow, but He looks nothing like the one who has my heart. And while I was upset upon initially reading your article telling John to “shove off,” ultimately my heart hurts for you too.
According to him, he is not a brother in Christ. Weren’t you listening to what he said?
My heart breaks for people that leave Jesus. That’s the reason I wrote this post, Emily. If I didn’t care, I would just wish Koloff well as he seeks fulfillment and happiness apart from the only source of life in the universe.
Do you think it matters what a person believes?
I didn’t realize that saying “So that’s a “yes” to leaving the church. Let me be the first to say, I’m thrilled!” was they way to tell someone that you care.
The religion was sucking the life out of him. Aren’t you happy that he’s freed himself from that oppression?
I’m not speaking for him. Ultimately, if someone knows about God and is happy with their life, when does it become my place to judge them? Let he who is without sin cast the first stone. You can keep tossing stones back and forth for the rest of your life. All I care about is loving people the way God does. He’s the one in charge after all. He’ll judge us all as He sees fit. In the mean time, I have enough jobs of my own without trying to do His too.
So why are you here judging me?
You’re a coward. Regardless of what you’re personal stance is on this person’s decision, nothing about your response looks anything like Jesus. Congratulations on getting some clicks based on someone else’s vulnerability. You’ve done more damage to the way of Jesus in this post than what you imagine this person to have done. Try some grace.
Caleb, where do you go to church?
https://culturesatwar.wordpress.com/2019/09/19/i-dont-know-where-im-going-follow-me/
Heavens! The anonymous screen name called me a coward!
All of these people defending him are on the same path…. they are blind sheep who think it’s compassionate to “support” a person while he walks off a cliff.
https://culturesatwar.wordpress.com/2019/09/19/i-dont-know-where-im-going-follow-me/
Dude you’re totally going to get more readers for your cool blog if you keep posting the link on your dads blog. That’s awesome. Happy for you.
This is one of my cool blogs, James. I’m one of the page admins for The Comedy Sojourn. Thanks for reading! 🙂
Do you know this person? Because I do and I love him. You may want to consider therapy to explore the amount of anger you’re experiencing and learn to better access emotions. Do you know another lead pastor just took his own life? Do you know the statistics of depression among church leaders? God forgive you.
What will you do if John Branyan takes his life now that you’ve left this comment?
That would be pretty heartbreaking. I bet Katie agrees, seeing as she implored John Branyan to seek therapy.
The double standard in treating Jon vs. John is amazing.
“A shallow hypocrite without any substance” well isn’t that the pot calling the kettle black? Hiding behind your interpretation of scripture, using cold, disconnected and cruel words to discredit the suffering of another. This is how Jesus would respond, right? This is the ministry of our savior, right? To condemn and damn one of His children because they had the courage to speak of his suffering. Cast your stones and stand on your pedestal. Obviously one man’s suffering boiled your blood enough to post this. I hope the true ministry of Jesus reaches your heart. Love your brother, open your arms to your brother. I’ll be praying for you.
You are the one discrediting the suffering of another. I suggest suffering people turn to Jesus.
Throw stones from your pedestal, Charlotte! I’ll pray for you.
It must be nice to spend your time writing about your perception of another’s sin and spewing your skewed vision of reality into the grand ether of the internet. It makes you feel good, right?
I’m certain you’re proud of yourself. You should be.
You’ve done a great job here. An even better job suggesting others turn towards Jesus.
Don’t bother praying for me, I promise I don’t need it.
https://culturesatwar.wordpress.com/2019/09/19/i-dont-know-where-im-going-follow-me/
It must be nice to spend your time writing about your perception of another’s sin and spewing your skewed vision of reality into the grand ether of the internet. It makes you feel good, right?
I think your post is more concerning than the original post you reference. Here is someone sharing their thoughts, even calling out that this potentially caused them to lose their life, and YOU are being critical? In reading your bio, you say nothing about being a person of faith, which first makes me question your belief and reasons why you are here in the first place. That seems opposite to what a Christians typically do, especially someone who appears to be such a staunch believer. I found this young man’s blog and his Facebook. I commend the people (mostly looks like people he has met through his faith) who have been affirming, as those are the ones who have truly found God’s love. I’m an avid reader, but I’m disappointed in your hypocrisy here. Do better.
I think your comment is helping people go to hell.
Here is someone calling out that they’re suffering and you’re criticizing me for suggesting Jesus? That seems opposite to what Christians are supposed to do. Let me assure you that your criticism is noted and dismissed. For an avid reader, you don’t seem to have understood anything about my theology.
Do better.
Someone spends the bulk of their lives as a theist, trying as best they can to please God, teaching the gospel, supporting the ideology and the church community where he was highly respected and liked as a person.
As he was born as a homosexual but tried desperately to live a lie that obviously effected his mental health, he therefore had little choice but to admit his secret to the church and come to terms with the consequences.
Of course the church with all the nice friendly and godly people turned their backs on him like he was the devil. No love, no sympathy but only hostility. Same old Christian story.
At least this man did not molest children, but if he did he would have no doubt been forgiven his sin and supported by the congregation.
I applaud your consistency in missing the point. You’re 100%! Keep reading.
That was, wow. Calling it like it is. I’m impressed.
I am just thankful that Jesus didn’t get fed up with His celibate lifestyle and kiss His “dream job” goodbye!!
Those giving the appearance of godliness but denying the power of God, from such turn away. Or in this case, hold the door for them as they leave.
There’s a clue in your first quote. “Dream job with 2000 members” is a poor way to look at being a minister. When “the greatest among you will be your servant.”
It curious to me how people will rejoice when they’re “released” from feeling guilty and shameful about sin. Nobody will drive straight across eight lanes of traffic at 80mph slam it into reverse and go “finally! I’m free to drive like I want!”
“It curious to me how people will rejoice when they’re “released” from feeling guilty and shameful about sin.”
I’m glad you’re curious about this! I was a Christian for most of my life, and was misled by many people who thought they knew the nature of God just because their parents or pastor told them what they thought about God. It’s a generational game of telephone and it means nothing.
But it’s a prison of your own making. What do you imagine exists outside the walled garden of your god’ “do’s and dont’s”?
Whoops, I thought I was talking to a Christian when I made my statements about you being a Pharisee. Now I see it’s even WORSE: you don’t even believe in God, but you still want to tell others that Jesus love meekness and humilty of spirit? LOL!
Evangelical Atheists are silly. Old habits die hard.
Outside the walled garden of my “dos and don’ts” there is another garden where you keep all of YOUR “do’s and don’ts.” Why should I stop trusting my pastor, and then listen to YOUR opinion about who is/isn’t a “tool?” HAHAHA! You’re playing a generational game of telephone when it comes to how we’re “supposed” to love or be humble, and none of it matters. Be gone, troll. Go be loving or hateful or be smart or stupid or be whatever you want to be. But if you keep preaching your inconsistent sermons, I’m just going to keep laughing at you.
I love this. Thanks.
Our pastor had a teacher at his college that told them “Boys it’s not your love of people that will keep you in ministry it’s your love of Jesus” I find that to be true for all of us. Your sin doesn’t make you special and it’s not the church’s job to make you feel good about it. We are to correct in love. When you make it about you and not him it’s not hard to see why you become disillusioned. We are all sinners in need of a savior.