I’ll Give You a Quarter for Your Self Respect
My family buys cheap groceries. The grocery store cuts corners in order to reduce overhead. Thus reducing the price of groceries. One of the money saving schemes is …they chain the carts together in a row. You have to insert a quarter into the locking mechanism to get a cart. When you’re finished with the cart, you return […]
The Gospel of Good Dead People
I know it’s not popular to talk about commandments when I’m supposed to be “loving on” everybody but since I’m already less popular than pickled beets, I’m not risking much. There are plenty of “Love Zombies” shambling around to adequately meet the demand for affection with no strings attached. So, let me call your attention back to one of the original “Ten Commandments” that we break almost every time we talk about Christianity.
Only The Truth Offends
The comedy writer, Gene Perret tells about the time Phyllis Diller rejected some jokes he wrote for her. “These are not true,” Diller complained. “Comedy has to be true.” That was an important lesson for me. And after 30 years writing and performing comedy, I can add a little bit to Phyllis Diller’s wise observation. “The truth is always offensive.” And at the risk of offending a few folks, I will go one step farther and say, “Only the truth is offensive.”
Do You Want To Get Well?
Do you want to get well? “I had a bad childhood.” “My mom was a drunk.” “I never knew my father.” “People don’t like me.” “People gossip about me.” “I grew up in poverty.” “I don’t have a diploma.” “I don’t have a reliable car.” “Nobody will hire me.” “I only make minimum wage.” “I […]
Enemies Are Not Friends
I’m going to make a radical suggestion that will certainly upset my friends who believe that Christians are called to treat God’s enemies like friends. Stop treating God’s enemies like friends. “John! You stupid jerk! The Bible tells us to love our enemies!” That’s right! Jesus himself told us to love our enemies and pray […]
Fear Is A Blessing From God
Does God care if we ignore His rules? – Scratch that. I’m too far ahead of you already. Does God even HAVE any rules? It seems another influential Christian artist is teaching that God doesn’t care what you do: “None of us are a surprise to God. Nothing about who we are or what we’ve […]
Wishing To Rule The World
A few years ago some especially noisy atheists were cranking out books and YouTube videos at the same rate the Keebler Elves produce graham crackers. You couldn’t swing Schrodinger’s cat (the dead version) without smacking an enlightened non-believer crowing about the abundance of scientific evidence for a godless universe. These elite thinkers produced mountains of […]
Get Your Religion At Target
You can stop going to church. Go to Target instead. There are groceries at Target. Your church may have a food pantry, but the selection at Target is wider. Target has clothing. Your church might have some hand-me downs available. Target has fashionable new clothes. Target is open every day for many hours. Come and […]
Joy and Terror
When I was a kid, my grandparents had a cottage on a lake in Northern Indiana. I loved going to the lake. It was probably my favorite place to be. Trips to the lake were days of unlimited fishing, swimming, boating, and eating grapes (and Little Debbie snack cakes). I looked forward to going to […]
Coming For Your Kids
The San Francisco Gay Men’s Choir released a bouncy music video admitting the gay agenda is to convert your children. If you’re able to find it on the internet, you better watch it quickly because the SFGMC is yanking it offline faster than Joe Biden loses his train of thought. If you’re not interested in […]