Just Turn Around
Louisville is directly South of my town. This is a message of encouragement to all the single mom’s living in my town who are trying to get to Louisville by going North. You don’t need the church to buy you diapers and formula. You don’t need access to healthcare. You don’t need better education about […]
Picking Fights To Eliminate Friends
An acquaintance of mine decided she was too close to the 5000 friends limit on Facebook but she didn’t have the heart to unfriend anyone so, she announced that she would be posting “controversial” things every day. She told anyone who didn’t agree with her “extreme views” to unfriend her. She then made three posts […]
Persecution Is Always Legal
It is super-important to godless tyrants that Christians understand: “Religious persecution is NEVER unlawful.” Throughout history Christians have been jailed, flogged, and martyred because they broke the law, not because they were Christians. Remember, the Romans LEGALLY fed criminals (who were coincidentally Christians) to the lions. As their flesh was torn from their bones, thoughtful […]
A Better Human Sacrifice
There are many ways to improve a civilization. Civilization improves when people start doing some things. Like growing crops. Or bathing more than annually. And Civilization improves when people stop doing other things. Like sacrificing babies to worship various gods. Our ancestors did that. Superstitious savages. We don’t do that anymore. Statistics show it would hinder church growth. …Parents wouldn’t feel comfortable leaving kids in the […]
I’ll Give You a Quarter for Your Self Respect
My family buys cheap groceries. The grocery store cuts corners in order to reduce overhead. Thus reducing the price of groceries. One of the money saving schemes is …they chain the carts together in a row. You have to insert a quarter into the locking mechanism to get a cart. When you’re finished with the cart, you return […]
The Gospel of Good Dead People
I know it’s not popular to talk about commandments when I’m supposed to be “loving on” everybody but since I’m already less popular than pickled beets, I’m not risking much. There are plenty of “Love Zombies” shambling around to adequately meet the demand for affection with no strings attached. So, let me call your attention back to one of the original “Ten Commandments” that we break almost every time we talk about Christianity.
Only The Truth Offends
The comedy writer, Gene Perret tells about the time Phyllis Diller rejected some jokes he wrote for her. “These are not true,” Diller complained. “Comedy has to be true.” That was an important lesson for me. And after 30 years writing and performing comedy, I can add a little bit to Phyllis Diller’s wise observation. “The truth is always offensive.” And at the risk of offending a few folks, I will go one step farther and say, “Only the truth is offensive.”
Do You Want To Get Well?
Do you want to get well? “I had a bad childhood.” “My mom was a drunk.” “I never knew my father.” “People don’t like me.” “People gossip about me.” “I grew up in poverty.” “I don’t have a diploma.” “I don’t have a reliable car.” “Nobody will hire me.” “I only make minimum wage.” “I […]
Enemies Are Not Friends
I’m going to make a radical suggestion that will certainly upset my friends who believe that Christians are called to treat God’s enemies like friends. Stop treating God’s enemies like friends. “John! You stupid jerk! The Bible tells us to love our enemies!” That’s right! Jesus himself told us to love our enemies and pray […]
Fear Is A Blessing From God
Does God care if we ignore His rules? – Scratch that. I’m too far ahead of you already. Does God even HAVE any rules? It seems another influential Christian artist is teaching that God doesn’t care what you do: “None of us are a surprise to God. Nothing about who we are or what we’ve […]