No need to swear an oath on the Bible.

This article is just for Christians.

Pagans and Progressives can skip on over to HuffPo.

…as if you read my articles in the first place.

Some of you may realize that in the US, we’ll elect a new President in 2016.

Those of you

who didn’t have the last smidgen of naive optimism

…wrung from your gentle spirits in 2012

…may be planning to vote again next year.

Be warned.

You will encounter stupid voting advice (SVA).

SVA is available from many sources and

…surprisingly…

…not all of them are progressive!

Some outspoken,

well intentioned,

self righteous,

condescending

…church leaders are offering SVA by the bucket load.

Thus, I am compelled to use my own

well intentioned condescension

(which is kinda fun to say)

to expose the SVA.

SVA #1: Vote like Jesus would vote.

Stupid because it’s impossible.

Jesus would always vote for Himself.

He’s God.

What candidate would do a better job of leading the country

…than the Creator of the Universe?

SVA #2: Vote for whoever leads like Jesus.

Stupid because it’s impossible.

On day one of Jesus’ presidential campaign,

…He would drop out of the race.

Remember what happened when they tried to make Him King?

The people who most closely mimic Jesus’ leadership style,

…aren’t on the ticket.

SVA #3: Vote for the most charitable candidate.

Stupid because government charity is an illusion.

A charitable President gives away my money.

Maybe yours too…

…I don’t know…

…but mine for sure.

Food stamps, gas cards,

housing, cell phones and

health care….

…doesn’t get paid out of the President’s pocket.

He’s just the guy who takes credit for it.

SVA #4: Abortion is going to happen no matter what the law says.

(YES…a Christian actually said this to me.)

Stupid because…

…where do I begin?

Armed robbery is going to happen no matter what the law says.

Rape is going to happen no matter what the law says.

…so there’s that.

And this Fun Fact:

One of the things that Pagans did

…to set themselves apart from God’s people…

…was kill their children.

This is probably THE ONE ISSUE…

…that would actually matter to Jesus…

…and you’re voting opposite Him.

Bottom line.

You’re not voting for a Savior in 2016.

You’ve already got one of those.

You’re free to follow Jesus.

You should vote for

whoever will protect the freedom to follow your Savior.