Do You Think You Could Win This Game?
I accidentally invented a game this week. I’m calling it, “Try To Talk To Pastor”. Here’s how to play: Pay attention to stuff your Pastor says: This requires listening to a sermon. You don’t have to take notes. Just stop scrolling through Facebook during Sunday morning service. Think about stuff your Pastor says: Even people […]
There’s No God. Now, Explain That Tornado.
I’ve never really understood why some people struggle with the “problem of evil.” The problem is most famously expressed by the Greek philosopher, Epicurus, who said: “Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent. Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent. Is he both able and […]
Give Me A Heart for Boredom
Have you ever been bored in Church? Hahaha! Of course you have! The only people who haven’t experienced sleep inducing boredom in Church are the people who haven’t BEEN to church. After the waiting room at the doctor’s office, Church is the dullest place on Earth. “HOLD ON, JOHN!! MY CHURCH IS EXCITING!! THERE’S MUSIC […]
Why You Don’t Want A Biblical Marriage
Anyone who claims, “A Biblical marriage is a healthy marriage”… …hasn’t read the Bible. Couples described in the Bible are perfect if… …you’re casting a marriage episode of Jerry Springer. There’s Adam and Eve. I don’t think they were technically ‘married’. They didn’t know about it until after they ate from the tree. They needed knowledge of good and evil… […]
The Shameful Reason People Follow Jesus
The cynics have figured it out. They understand why people convert to Christianity. I’ve seen the gleeful declarations in a million blog comments. “Jesus is a crutch!” “Christians use religion to ease their consciences.” “People convert because they feel guilty.” Inexplicably, Christians argue with these statements. These are the ONLY true things pagans ever say […]
The Correct Way To Quit The Church
I ran away from home when I was 6 years old. Fed up with my parent’s oppression. They always told me what to do. “Get to bed, Mister!” They told me how to think. “Be respectful of grown-ups!” They even told me how to feel. “Boys don’t hit girls! You should be ashamed!” Full of […]
Ask Your Pastor This Question On Sunday
Tired of the same old Sunday rituals? Here’s a fun way to enliven the conversations. Ask your pastor this question: Why would you NOT trade places with Joel Osteen? Poor Joel has been a magnet for ridicule and derision. Most of it, well deserved. He is notoriously vague on Christian doctrine. He is notoriously outspoken […]
This Is How I Keep Sexism Alive In Church
WARNING: The following article contains sexism, bigotry and discrimination. Reader discretion is advised. I’m guilty of sexist discrimination. I treat people differently depending on their gender. Even at church. I’ve been discriminating against women for years and I didn’t even know it. This article convicted me. I owe my Christian sisters an apology. Allow me […]
Jesus Would Sign The Nashville Statement
What is the Nashville Statement? In a nutshell, it’s Christianity. I didn’t say it’s ‘God’s Word’. But it borrows HEAVILY from God’s ideas. If God decided to sue for plagiarism, He’d have a strong case. Because the Nashville Statement clearly explains the Christian position… …it infuriates people. And that is bad. It’s ALWAYS bad to […]
The World Is Ending! Be Brave!
I’m going to assume you’ve already noticed that America went insane. This isn’t an exaggeration. The country is literally bonkers. Recently, our elected officials took the first step in passing laws that will make it illegal to keep men out of women’s restrooms. (If you don’t believe me, type ‘equality act’ into your favorite search […]