The 1st Church of Antacid
For those times when your stomach is just loaded with acid. It just happens. Your evil stomach pumps out acid for no good reason. It has nothing to do with your lunch meal of double chili burrito with onions, Tabasco, kerosene, and gunpowder. Just take aTums. That’ll fix it! Enjoy the comfort that comes from […]
Don’t Fall In Love
We don’t understand love. You talk about falling in love as if it actually happens. As if love is ditch or pit that is unwittingly plummeted into. How romantic. Long-term relationships brought about by clumsiness. Love is for the klutzy. Intimacy is for the inept. Any nitwit can fall. All you need is gravity. (Love […]
How Humility Complicates Everything
I’m sorry. This is probably none of my business. I’m not trying to start an argument. Nothing personal. And I could be wrong. I’m wrong a lot! I make mistakes all the time! Who am I to think I know anything about you? I’m not presuming anything. I don’t have my own life together. […]
No Funeral For A Dead Raccoon
I killed a raccoon last weekend. Actually, the raccoon killed himself. I was merely the instrument of suicide. The varmint vamoosed across the road at exactly the right time. Half a second sooner or later and there would be nothing to write about. The timing was so precise it had to be intentional. Perhaps the […]
Who Deserves The Wrath of God?
You gotta be pretty bad to upset God, right? He’s not gonna pour out His wrath for minor offenses. Just the big sinsWrat Like murder. And rape. And attempted murder. And some forms of assault. Like child abuse. And spouse abuse. Including the emotional and psychological kind. And human trafficking. And animal abuse. Or extreme cruelty to […]
And It Changed Nothing
There is nothing extraordinary about the way thiis story started. A guy was walking on the side of the road, carrying two giant duffle bags. So my brother-in-law Bobby picked him up and gave him a ride to the next town. Dropped him at the gas station. The guy turned and said, “Thanks for the […]
Fair Share
Conan O’Brien has his own show on television! I don’t. You don’t either. Unless you’re Jimmy Kimmel and if you are, keep reading. You need to hear this! HOW IS THAT FAIR? It’s not. Obviously. The television show gap between Conan and other Americans is staggering. The question is, what are we going to do about […]