Tears for Toys
We were talking about crying. Two men, sitting in a booth eating lunch… at a truck stop. Surrounded by guys in ball caps and overalls. Could hardly smell the burgers cooking. Too much testosterone in the air. As we discussed crying. And the movie that causes it to happen. Toy Story 3. He sort of […]
Fair Share
Conan O’Brien has his own show on television! I don’t. You don’t either. Unless you’re Jimmy Kimmel and if you are, keep reading. You need to hear this! HOW IS THAT FAIR? It’s not. Obviously. The television show gap between Conan and other Americans is staggering. The question is, what are we going to do about […]
Injected with Joy
Mold-A-Rama Sounds like what happens to a loaf of bread after a couple of days on the table. But it’s nothing like that. It’s worse. Imagine yourself as a child being given, as a gift, …a plastic bust of Abraham Lincoln. How would you receive such an offering? Would you utter some […]
Blind Faith
I want to apologize to the blind. I’ve been unfair to them. I’ve often referred negatively to “blind faith”. As if it’s a lesser kind of faith. As if it’s baseless. It’s not. Blind folks cross busy streets using nothing but sound cues. Blind folks navigate their environment with nothing but a guide dog. Astonishing. […]
Fundamental Flaws
Dogma. It’s not what a puppy calls its mother. It’s religious doctrine that’s held without proof. For example, the belief that there is no God. Relativism. It’s not government by your relatives. It’s dogma. The belief that morality changes relative to circumstances. For example, it’s okay to loot a store if you’re a […]
Reluctant Hipster
What’s a ‘hipster’? My daughter replied, “You’re a hipster, Dad.” That’s impossible. I don’t know what they are. “Right. Hipsters often don’t know what a hipster is.” That doesn’t answer my question. “If something is really popular, a hipster doesn’t like it.” I don’t do that! “You TOTALLY do that!” I don’t dislike popular things […]
Verbal Abuse
Recently, my wife asked me to run an errand. She asked me to, “Pop over to the pharmacy to pick up dad’s prescription.” This presented a dilemma. I’ve no idea how to ‘pop’ anywhere. My wife is a no-nonsense kind of gal. She wouldn’t mind if I drove to the pharmacy. As long as the […]
Duped by Dough
Bread sticks have made me their fool. They’re just “plain” pizza. Bread sticks are what I’d get if I ordered pizza by saying: “Give me a large, pepperoni with no sauce, meat or cheese.” It’s like asking for my pizza crust ‘on the side’. Then paying extra for it. The bread sticks I ordered recently […]
How to Botch a Joke (Part 2)
I’ve got one for you. This is hilarious! I mean, you’re going to laugh your butt off! First time I heard this, I thought I was gonna die laughing! Are you ready? I mean this is hysterical!! You’re gonna laugh really hard. Are you ready? You sure? Okay…. Here goes… …Heh…heh… Ha Ha Ha…I’m laughing […]
How to Botch a Joke (Part 1)
Did you hear the one about the guy who… Wait a minute… It’s not a guy, it’s a girl and she walks into a bar and… A car lot. She walks onto a car lot and the salesman says… No wait… The salesman is a girl too… And it’s not a car lot it’s […]