The Great God of Style
I’ve had a few conversations with fellow Christians about whether or not the blood of Jesus can atone for the sins of the people who write for the Babylon Bee. Although we disagree on the eternal effects of satire on the human soul, we agree that seeing any of those writers in Heaven proves that […]
Why I Don’t Invite Friends To Church.
I grew up going to church (and please don’t tell me “church” is people not a “building” or a “service” because I know that since I grew up going to church ) so I’ve been encouraged to invite my friends to church many times. By “encouraged”, I mean prompted, urged, compelled, cajoled, coaxed, coerced, shamed, […]
Kanye Is Jesus In Reverse
Remember awhile back when Kanye West converted to Christianity and millions of Christians jumped for joy because a famous person was validating their religious views? We’ve moved on from Kanye and that’s too bad. I cannot judge anyone’s heart. I can’t read anyone’s mind either. Most of the time, I can’t read my own mind. […]
Don’t Drill Holes In My Skull
Do you know why we’re supposed to wash our hands? Of course you do! It’s all about the germs! But people didn’t always know about germs. They assumed sickness was brought about by evil spirits. So they pooped wherever they were standing and never washed. I can’t blame anyone for not knowing about germs. Those […]
You’re Gonna Wanna Go Here
For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but wanting to have their ears tickled, they will accumulate for themselves teachers in accordance to their own desires, and will turn away their ears from the truth and will turn aside to myths. 2 Timothy 4:3 The time will come when you’re […]
Kissing Jesus Goodbye
If you’re a person whose theology is dictated by best-selling contemporary authors, here’s something you need to know. It’s okay for Christians to date now. God doesn’t look down on traditional courtship rituals anymore. Purity doesn’t matter. In fact, purity is hateful and if you were a virgin when you got married; you owe everybody […]
Let’s De-stigmatize Stigmas
Some Christians think it’s their job to boost the self-esteem of pagans. I think they are operating under the assumption that people reject Jesus because they feel unworthy of love and salvation. But I can’t judge anyone’s heart and the motive doesn’t matter anyway. If you’re a Christian who feels it is your duty to […]
You’re Wrong About Why Jesus Loves You
One of the advantages of getting your theology from popular culture is that your faith won’t require any lifestyle changes. Western Christianity, for example, only requires you mention the love of Jesus once in awhile. The notion of “denying yourself” and “picking up a cross” is outdated. No use bothering to become like Jesus when […]
Jesus Told You To Judge Me
The most popular words in the Bible among people who don’t care about the Bible are, “Don’t judge.” Notice I said these are popular words instead of saying this is a popular verse. It’s not a verse. It’s two words yanked out of context. You can make the Bible say ANYTHING by yanking words out […]
Falling In Love Without God
Regular readers know that one of my favorite hobbies is mocking stupid ideas. Regular readers also know that mocking stupid ideas upsets people who hold stupid ideas. To be clear, everyone holds a few stupid ideas (even me)! Mockery makes me feel ashamed which discourages me from making stupid ideas permanent. When stupid ideas become […]